Coach nods, his gaze empty, emotionless. “Go on. I’ll be right there,” he tells Mulvaney.
He sighs, shoving a hand through his thinning salt and pepper hair, and I recognize the same pain in his eyes as the one currently ripping through my chest.
“What a clusterfuck,” he mutters.
It’s the most honest thing I’ve heard all day.
He bows his head then lifts it again, as if he can’t decide what to do with himself, which emotions to allow. “Get to the locker room,” he barks. “Both of you. I’ll be there in a minute. We have a game to play. There’s no delaying it, not even for . . .” He waves his hand in front of him, then drops them and turns toward his office. “We’ll sort this shit out later.”
“Dad—” Lane tries again, her voice thick, but Coach ignores her, slamming his office door in reply.
When I turn, Tommy and the other spectators are gone. Only Chance, Lane, and I remain.
I can’t look at him; it makes me physically ill to even be in his presence right now, and I have a moment of panic wondering how the hell I’m supposed to play football. How am I supposed to pretend the last hour of my life never happened?
“How could you?” Lane asks, her voice trembling.
Of course, she’s addressing him. Why wouldn’t she?
My stomach sours and I take a step back, afraid I might lose the protein shake I downed on the way here.
“Doesn’t affect me any. I’ll have a spot on the draft either way. In fact, I’m supposed to get called up early.”
Lane scoffs. “Of course. It’s always about Chance. You got what you wanted, so now you don’t care who you hurt in the process, all because of some misplaced jealousy for something you never wanted in the first place. Because you don’t want me and Sophie. You never did. You just can’t stand the thought of someone else having us.”
I take another step back.
I can’t be here.
Can’t bear to hear this.
“I might. One day,” Chance says, and my stomach heaves.
I throw my hands up in front of me as if shielding myself from whatever else they’re going to say. “I can’t do this,” I choke out. “I can’t fucking do this,” I say and then I turn.
I push past Chance, knocking into his shoulders in my haste, and take the hall in long strides, but before I can reach the locker room door, Lane’s voice calls behind me.
Her footsteps pound on the cement beneath her feet as she runs after me, and I have half a mind to dodge her and keepgoing. I could walk away. Get in my car and drive until I’m far away from here. Hell, maybe I’ll never come back.
Maybe the physical distance will somehow give me the strength to face everything I just discovered. Maybe then it won’t hurt so fucking bad.
I reach for the locker room door at the same time a small hand clamps down on my shoulder, and Lane blocks my path.
“Move,” I grind out, but she doesn’t. Instead, she just stands there with watery, red-rimmed eyes while I try my best to avoid her gaze.
“Teagan, you have to understand. I?”
“Youlied!” For the first time since she appeared in the hallway behind me, I meet her eyes. “You lied straight to my face when I asked if you and Chance were ever together. And for a minute, I thought, what if he’s the father? But when I brought it up, you were so insistent it was some nameless, faceless guy from summer camp, and I felt like a fool for even thinking it. But this whole time I was right. Or maybe I knew all along, but I just wanted to be wrong so badly that when you lied, I believed it.”
“I know. God, Teagan, I’m so sorry. If you’ll just hear me out, let me?”
“Explain?” I take a step back, away from her reach, as I run a hand over my mouth. “I told you lying is a deal-breaker for me. You knew my past. You know I can’t handle secrets and that I need transparency.”
“I know.” Tears streak down her cheeks, and damn if my first instinct isn’t to make them stop.
And that’s the fucking problem. I’d do damn near anything for this girl. I’d take a bullet. Walk through fucking fire. Stand on a bed of nails.Anything.
But I’ve made a big enough ass of myself these last few months and all it got me was a broken heart.