He snatches up a white cloth and wipes the grease off his hands as he crosses the room, tossing it to the side before he crouches in front of me, so we’re at eye level.
My heart rate spikes as I take him in. A smudge of grease stains his cheek, and I’m tempted to reach out and swipe it away with the pads of my fingers.
He shakes his head and his mouth parts. “I can’t even imagine what that would be like. I’m so sorry you have to go through that.”
Reaching out, he takes my hand in his, and I fight the urge to completely fall apart. To let someone else hold the pieces ofmetogether for once.
“You know what I don’t get?” I whisper, and he shakes his head. “There are people like your mom. Ones who lose theirpartners or a child?one of the people they love most in the world?and yet, somehow, they manage to pick up the pieces and build a life for themselves despite their heartbreak.” I swallow, hating the thickness of my voice. “There are people who get cancer or debilitating uncontrollable illnesses and face it with nothing but fierce determination and a smile on their face. And all the while, my mother sits in her house, healthy as a horse, with a daughter who loves her and an ex who would still be there if she called, and she can’t seem to get dressed and brush her hair in the morning. And only god knows why.”
A pained expression crosses his face as he reaches out and cups my face in his hands. Goosebumps spread over my arms.
“Don’t do that, Lettie,” he whispers.
“Do what?”
“Compare them.”
“Why, when it’s true?” I pull away from him and run a hand over my face, trying to get my shit together, stunned I’ve shared so much with him. “I’m sorry. I know what she’s dealing with is real, and I’m sure it’s awful, but sometimes I just get so angry that she can’t just be like other moms. That I can’t go to her about my problems for fear it’ll trigger her. Or that we can’t have one fucking happy day without me fretting her mood will shift, and it’ll all vanish. That I can’t go away to college and just be happy because I’m worried she’s not adulting like she’s supposed to.”
I drag in a ragged breath, embarrassed to be on the verge of tears when Chris groans.
“What?” I ask, blinking up at him.
“I’m not used to you looking sad, Lettie girl, and I have to tell you, it’s taking my fucking breath away, so I need you to stop.”
Lettie girl.I fight the urge to shiver. It’s the first time he’s used my nickname and it hasn’t bothered me.
“And what if I can’t?”
“Then we’re both in trouble because I might kiss you again, and I’m afraid I won’t stop.”
My heart skips a beat. “Oh.” My gaze drops to his mouth, and I thinkthat doesn’t sound so bad,which is precisely why I tear my eyes away from him.
“Yeah,oh.”
I rise to my feet, cheeks burning as I shake off the swell of emotion in my chest. It’s not like me to get emotional. I rarely allow it, and I’m embarrassed I did so in front ofhim. “Sorry, I’ve never told anyone that before,” I say, feeling self-conscious. “I’m not even sure why I did.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Chris straightens, towering over me again. “You know what always helped me when I had a problem I couldn’t solve or something on my mind?”
I blink up at him warily. “If you say sex, I might punch you.”
His mouth twitches. “Understandable, and though that is an amazing coping strategy, I was going to say that I like to work on cars.”
I fight my smile. “Of course you were.”
“So, what do you say, Lettie girl?” He backs up, picking a wrench up off the floor and plunking it in my hand. “You wanna help me fix your car?”
“Me?” I point to myself.
“Yeah,you. Come on.” He grabs my hand and heads to a nearby shelf where he finds a spare creeper. Placing it on the floor beside his, he takes a seat, then glances up at me and waits. “Unless you’re afraid to get your hands dirty,” he says with a mocking smirk. “Wouldn’t want you to chip a nail.”
“Pfft.” I push my shoulders back, mood lifting at the challenge. “I can probably handle a dipstick better than you can.”
One corner of his mouth quirks, and his eyes brighten. “Oh, I have no doubt, Lettie girl.”
Chapter 16
CHRIS