“I still have nightmares about that,” Joey says, wide-eyed.
I meet Barb’s eyes, glittering with amusement, and we both burst out laughing.
“Sometimes a single mom’s gotta do what a single mom’s gotta do,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes, and I couldn’t agree more.
An hour later, I’m standing by the Collins’ front door saying goodbye to all the boys with promises to visit again, when Barb flings her arms around me, wrapping me up in a hug so tight, it brings tears to my eyes. I didn’t get a lot of hugs growing up because my mother?the one who was supposed to be the nurturer in the family?was so often too depressed and lost in a hell of her own making to show love. So I’m not sure what to do with this, other than hold her back.
“It was so nice to have another woman around for a change.” Barb pulls away from me, looking me in the eyes. “You come back, you hear? Don’t leave me with all these boys forever.” Her voice is as warm as it is sincere, and funnily enough, I believe her.
She gives me one last squeeze before letting go and wrapping Chris up in a similar hug, only Chris growls and leans back, lifting her off her feet before putting her back down again and smacking the top of her head with a noisy kiss. “Night, Ma.”
“You take care of this lady, you hear?”
Chris winks. “You know it,” he says while my cheeks heat.
I wonder if she suspects something more is going on between me and Chris than meets the eye. Hell,Iwonder if something more is going on between me and Chris than meets the eye. After today, I’m no longer sure, but it’s a question I’ll analyze all the way back to campus.
Once we’re outside, we climb in Chris’s car, and he drives us back to his father’s shop where my car is waiting.
“I’ll follow you, just in case,” he says as I step out into the chilly evening air.
Leaning down, I duck my head back inside. “You don’t have to do that. I’m sure the car will be fine.”
“Can’t a guy have an excuse to say good night?”
My stomach tightens, and I bite my lip in an effort to squelch the flurry of butterflies awakening at the thought of being alone with him again. “Okay,” I breathe. “I’ll meet you back at school, then.”
I close the door and climb inside my car, ignoring the way my hands sweat as I take the wheel. The entire drive back to campus, all I can think about is Chris and our time spent together today.
Watching him with his family gave me a whole new level of understanding of who he is and why. I can see how much he cares about them through each interaction with his brothers; how he’s both their best friend, brother, and mentor all wrapped into one. It’s a whole level of devotion I hadn’t thought him capable of, one that both endears me to him and scares me, because I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed that same level of devotion in my own life.
If anything, today has reinforced the notion that you’re a product of your environment, because Chris is every bit as carefree, goofy, loving, and steadfast as the rest of his family. I wonder what that says about me and mine?
The thought haunts me the entire way back to Hyde Hall, right until I pull into the parking lot of the dormitory and turn off the ignition.
I sink back into my seat, tugging on the strings of Chris’s hoodie while my mind races.
Part of me hopes Chris will simply wave as he passes, maybe honk, and say good night before he goes on his way, so when he parks and steps out of his car, my mouth goes dry. The palms of my hands begin to sweat as he approaches, hands tucked in his pockets, his masculine features cast in shadows. It’s unfair how undeniably attractive he is, or how hard my heart pounds at his proximity.
“What are you doing?” I wrap my arms around myself, more in an effort to ward off the effect he has on me, rather than the cold.
“I wanted to walk you inside.”
“This again?” I roll my eyes, pretending to be annoyed, even though I’m anxious as hell, if not a little giddy at the prospect. It’s a stark contrast to the last time he walked me inside.
“Yes, this again. My mother raised me to be a gentleman at least half the time.”
I laugh, falling in step with him on the way to the doors and saying nothing when his hand reaches between us, brushing my fingers with his before softly intertwining them with mine.
My skin ignites, every nerve ending coming alive with his touch. I’ve done a hell of a lot more than hold hands with men before, but this . . . this feels both scarier and more exciting than anything I’ve ever experienced.
I hold my breath, afraid to break the moment when he pauses outside the double doors, turning to me with warm blue eyes. “I hope my family wasn’t too much for you. I know they can be a lot, especially to someone who grew up without siblings. There’s pretty much zero privacy and a whole lot of voices talking at once, as well as opinions you never asked for. Never a dull moment, that’s for sure.”
“I loved it,” I say, the smile slipping from my face as I realize just how much, because it’s something I’ll never have. I’d take the chaos and noise any day over the silence.“You’re very lucky.”
Chris briefly glances away before meeting my eyes again. “I think right about now is when I should remind you of our deal and that you owe me a date, but instead, I’m going to tell you I won’t hold you to it. I wanted to help you out, and I did. That’s payment enough for me,” he says, and I hate that I believe him, because it really means heisjust that good of a guy.
And because the thought of not getting the chance to spend time with Chris one-on-one again is achingly disappointing.