Page 51 of Love at Second Down

“What I don’t understand is, it’s clear you still have feelings for him, so why did you do it?” Brynn asks.

There it is. The million-dollar question. The one I can’t answer.

“It’s complicated,” I say, hating myself for it.

“And now you’re here to . . . what?” Charlotte narrows her eyes, and I can sense the wheels turning in her head. “Make things uncomplicated? Get back together?”

I steel my spine, not expecting them to understand. “To try and fix things. To right my wrongs, and eventually, tell Damon the truth about why I broke things off.” I wrap my arms around my waist with the admission, afraid of what they’re thinking.

I feel like an animal on its back, my underbelly exposed, raw and vulnerable.

“Look,” I shove a hand through my hair, “I don’t expect you guys to understand, especially since I can’t even tell you the real reasons why I broke up with him. Those are things I’ve yet to discuss with him, and I will, when the time is right. When Iknow he’s ready to listen. But I also understand that you were his friend first. Or, at the very least, your boyfriends’ friend.”

I screw up my face, wondering if I’m even making sense. “I’ve never had that kind of loyalty in a friendship, but I can admire it, so I understand if you no longer want to hang out or talk to me, but I can promise you I have nothing but the best of intentions where he’s concerned. I know I broke his heart over two years ago, but there is so much more than meets the eye.” I swallow, my voice thick. “And I love him. I always have, and I always will. Even if I give this my all, and he wants nothing to do with me, I’ll keep on loving him long after he’s moved on.”

“Ugh.” Liz clutches her heart and sinks back onto the bed. “My heart.”

“Well, that’s fucking romantic,” Charlotte says.

A soft laugh spills from my lips, relieving some of the tension in my chest. “I can see how hanging out with me is a conflict of interest for you.” My gaze lingers between Brynn and Charlotte. “Well, at least, the two of you, anyway.”

A beat of silence stretches through the room while the girls exchange a look I can’t decipher before Brynn turns back to me. “None of us are perfect, and I happen to consider myself a damn good judge of character.”

I straighten. “And?”

“And I like you.” She grins.

“Welike you,” Liz chimes in, nodding in confirmation.

The weight on my chest lifts. “You do?”

Charlotte nods. “We do. And if anyone understands having an inscrutable past or things you can’t share about yourself which complicate relationships, it’s me.” She grimaces. “So, we’re going to take your word for it when you say you love him, had your reasons for hurting him, and have nothing but good intentions.”

“I do.” I swallow, the knot in my stomach loosening. “I swear, I do.”

“Good.” Charlotte smiles, her dark eyes glittering. “Because I have a plan.”

It’s Sunday night when I find myself standing in front of the full-length mirror in Charlotte’s dorm room, my gaze skating over my reflection and the black cashmere sweaterdress I’m wearing, along with my knee-length boots. Though the dress shows zero cleavage and no skin, it fits me like a glove, showcasing all my curves.

“You’re sure this is a good idea?” I ask, my gaze bouncing between Brynn and Charlotte, reflected in the glass behind me.

“Positive.” Brynn squeezes my arms. “You look hot as hell in that dress. Damon will lose his mind when he sees you.”

Uncertainty churns the contents of my stomach as I spin around, glancing at Liz and Samantha standing just behind them. Today is Damon’s double date, and after a lot of cajoling on Charlotte’s part, Liz and I agreed to go along with their plan. Liz is going as Damon’s date where she plans on making herself as boring and uninteresting as humanly possible, while I am “the friend” set to go out with Travis, one of Damon’s buddies and a fellow junior.

“What if it backfires, and he really does like Liz?” I ask. “Or worse, what if he thinks I’m into Travis andwantedto go out with him? I mean, doesn’t this kind of go in the face of my trying to win him back?”

“He won’t, and it does, but it also doesn’t,” Charlotte reassures me.

I worry my lip with my teeth. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because you’re going to tell him the second you’re alone and get a chance, that the only reason you’re even on that date is for him. Because you found out about it and couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing anyone else.”

Liz nods, dark hair bouncing. She’s wearing a pair of the baggiest, most unflattering sweatpants I’ve ever seen, alongside a shapeless hoodie in an effort to look as unappealing as possible, but it only makes me feel infinitely overdressed in comparison. “And don’t worry about me,” she says. “There’s zero chemistry between us. It’s why I’m surprised he even agreed to this whole thing in the first place.”

“But maybe you’re wrong?” I insist. “Maybe heissecretly attracted to you, which is why he agreed to the date.”

Maybe he doesn’t want me anymore and never will, no matter how much I try.

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