Page 94 of My Big Fat Italian Break-Up

‘We… h-have a few problems… Erica and I,’ he said evasively.

‘Who doesn’t?’ she said. But when he didn’t answer, she said, ‘Is it serious?’

Silence, then: ‘Pretty much. We’re… over.’

No, no, no!I cried inside.

‘I even left without saying goodbye to the kids. But I sent them a letter.’

‘Jesus, Jules – a letter?’

‘I don’t want to be like their biological father who just walked out on them. I don’t want them to relive that.’

‘Looks like they already are. How could you do that to them?’

‘I had no choice.’

‘Nonsense. Talk to her. Call her.’

Exactly, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Why don’t you just call me? Talk to me? I’ll be there in a jiffy. In half a second, actually.I bit on my knuckle, willing him to say he’d do just that, willing him to reach into his pocket and pull out the cellphone that was always practically glued to the palm of his hand.

But he just sighed and shook his head, and my heart splintered into a gazillion shards so violently, I was sure he could hear them pinging against the glass window across the room.

‘It’s not that simple, Sienna. I don’t know what’s happened to us. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, you know? Of all the people I’ve met in my life, I knew that she was the one for me. She really was.’

My heart stopped.Was, definitely past tense… And now?

‘And?’ she prompted.

He shook his head sadly. ‘It didn’t work out.’

No, no, no… This can’t really be happening to us, not after all we’ve been through!

Sienna shrugged. ‘Well, I know for a fact that she loves you deeply and it’s obvious you love her.’

He sighed heavily. ‘It’s not that easy, Sienna. And the kids – I love them so much, you know?’

And me?I wanted to ask.Is there absolutely no hope for me? Not even when you see what I’ve come up with to win you back? Is there no hope at all?

‘Jesus, Julian, when is love ever easy?’ Sienna countered. ‘Look at me and Nina. I had to fight my family tooth and nail and look at us now – we’re having a baby.’ She took his hands and kissed his cheek. ‘Love is always worth the pain, Julian. So get over whatever issues the two of you have and marry the woman, already.’

When after all that, Julian was still silent, Sienna groaned.

‘God, I’msoglad I’m not with a man. Right, I’m letting your fans in. Got your pen ready?’

I saw him hesitate, then take a deep breath – and by reflection, I inhaled deeply, as well. He nodded.

‘Good man. And remember – good love is always worth a good cry.’ And then she turned and left him, giving me the thumbs up as she left me the stage.

Swallowing my terror, I wiped my forehead, careful not to mess my make-up. I hadn’t actually planned what I’d say. I always thought that spontaneity was the best form of communication. So before I could stop myself and think of what I was doing, I burst through the door and into the center of the hall.

He was standing on the far side now, facing the window, his familiar lean silhouette black against the crimson sky.

Forget Mr. Darcy inPride and Prejudice. Forget Heathcliff inWuthering Heights. Julian was the romantic lover of all the books ever written, all rolled into one. His was the face I wanted to wake up to every morning, his was the laughter I wanted to be the cause of. The voice I wanted to hear sayI love you.

And now I only hoped he wouldn’t freak out and send me packing. If only I could say something romantic, something soulful, to attract his attention and win him back. But no words came out. Not even a mousy, terrified squeak.

Then, as if sensing my presence, he turned and saw me, his eyes flashing as he took in my wedding dress.

---