Page 105 of The Husband Diet
She nodded and smiled, like a little girl who had been promised a lollipop if she stopped crying over her scratched knee.
I smiled back and silently slid to my feet, holding onto her hand briefly before I slipped from the room. Now no longer trapped by false ties, maybe one day we’d be friends.
*
Once back in the security of my own home, I crept up the stairs as quietly as I could and opened Warren’s door. He was fast asleep, lying on his back. As I watched, he rolled over and mumbled something about baseball. I kissed his soft cheek and tiptoed out the door to Maddy’s room.
Her fairy light was on, projecting images of gossamer wings around the walls. Pink reigned everywhere, from her coverlet to her rug to her curtains. Hanging on her door, the angel wings I’d made for her (with Zia Martina’s help, of course) out of tulle on a thin wire frame. Oodles of starch kept it in shape. Maddy. My little fairy. My little angel.
And then, inevitably, I was in front of my own bedroom door. I pushed it open and smiled down at my spider-whisperer, more gorgeous than ever and fast asleep. I slowly undressed and sank into the space next to him as he murmured and pulled me into the circle of his arms. I breathed in his familiar manly scent and let him hold me. Tomorrow I’d share my news with him. But tonight, all I wanted was to be held. To belong.
38
A Woman’s Wait
For Warren’s birthday on the eighth of May, we planned a picnic on the beach. Before we left home, Julian gave him his very own first professional baseball glove that still bore his initials, J.N.F. And it was personally autographed.
‘Julian, no. It’s too much,’ I protested.
‘Mo-om!’ Warren pleaded.
‘Warren, please go out and play for a minute.’
He knew better than to object.
‘Julian, that glove is worth a fortune – much too much for a thirteen-year-old. You’re too generous.’
Julian waited until the back door closed and got up, holding out his hand to me.
‘Erica, sweetheart. It’s time you and I had a talk. A serious one.’
Uh-oh. ‘Look, Julian. You’re great. But if you want the kids to love you, just be yourself.’
‘And what do I have to do to makeyoulove me?’ he whispered, pushing back a strand of hair behind my ear, and I felt my cheeks redden. ‘Mmm? Am I that unlovable, Erica?’
I looked up. ‘Of course you are – lovable, I mean,’ I assured.
‘I want to be your man, Erica.’
‘You are my man,’ I said, and stopped in surprise. ‘And I love you. Gee, that sounded good. Can I say it again?’
‘Please do,’ he murmured, taking my mouth.
‘I love you, Julian. Mmm, this is much more fun than sports,’ I whispered.
‘Come on, lazy bones,’ Julian sighed, pulling me out the door. ‘Warren’s waiting for his picnic.’
The Harbor Islands were visible in the distance. Julian and I were sitting on a picnic blanket as the kids chased the waves. Getting away for even a couple of hours was pure bliss.
I bit into a peach and looked at my rolled-up pants, wondering if I’d get them wet. Sure, it would be nice to stroll hand in hand along the shore and look like characters out of a Rosamunde Pilcher book. But in the end, I’d be stuck with sopping pant legs sticky with sand. Not so romantic, especially if after the romantic moment you’re planning a sexy one.
Julian pulled me up and dragged me down the beach, and up into his arms in a face-to-face piggyback. I gasped in surprise, enjoying the feeling of my legs around his hips, his hands under my thighs. Those hands, so well-meaning yet intimate, burned into my skin.
I’d let him be with me in Tuscany if I thought that he’d be happy with me. Did he just think he was? Had Julian only been guided by the sufferings of a family in distress? He’d seen the signs early on. Only he shouldn’t have allowed himself to get personal. With all our baggage, my family could only weigh a single, optimistic man like Julian down. And then he’d start to resent me like Ira had. Even if he was a gentleman extraordinaire with a heart of gold and the patience of Job.
But whichever way you put it, Maddy and Warren would never be his kids, and he could never love them the way… I was going to saythe way a biological parent could. Hah. Served me right. I think Julian already loved Warren and Maddy much more than Ira ever had. I could see that.
When we got home, Julian put on a pot of coffee. We’d dropped the kids off at Paul’s for a couple of hours as they loved spending time with him, and it gave Julian and I time to be alone together. It had been a warm day, but I still welcomed the feeling of hot coffee trickling inside me.
