Page 44 of The Husband Diet
‘What if? The man’s a legend.’
Great. Absolutely friggin’ great.
*
Zia Martina and Zia Monica were serving our table (being family, we normally got our own bread and drinks, etcetera, but tonight my aunts were bent on making a big impression on Julian) and simultaneously gave me ayum-yumlook.
‘Bellissimo!’ Zia Monica hissed in Italian as she spooned caponata onto my plate. ‘Where did youfindhim?’
‘In the ladies’ room,’ I hissed back, enjoying her blank face.
Yeah, even I couldn’t understand how he’d come into my life after I’d begged him to take my pants off and security came bursting in, only to apologize. Dideveryonebut me know who he was?
‘More vino, Mr. Foxham?’ purred my aunt Monica, and I rolled my eyes. She never purred for a guy.
‘Thank you. And please – call me Julian,’ said Julian.
‘Monica,’ purred Monica.
As Ira kept Julian and Warren busy with baseball memories, even Zia Maria came out of her temple – the kitchen – to look at him. A long, hard look. Then she looked at me and jerked her head toward the kitchen.
I sighed and excused myself from the table to follow her back to her frying eggplant.
‘What?’ I hissed.
Zia Martina, who was emptying the dishwasher, raised her eyebrows in another yum-yum expression.
‘How old is he?’ Zia Maria asked.
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’ Of course I knew, but I wanted to hear their thoughts.
‘Thirty-seven,’ Zia Martina said. ‘Monica googled him and Paul told us about how he ripped your pants off because of the spider. He’s perfect for you.’
Perfect for me because he’d ripped my pants off? They had a point there.
‘What?’ I hissed again. Paul – that little runt! ‘Are you out of yourminds? I’m a married woman. And if you don’t remember, go back out there and take a look – my husband’s sitting right opposite him.’
Zia Maria waved her spatula at me. ‘Cut the crap. Paul told us you’re getting divorced.’
I looked at all three of them in pretend shock.
I nodded tiredly. ‘Not because of Julian. And stop listening to Paul – his love life sucks more than mine.’
There. I’d said it out loud. After years and years of grinning and bearing for the benefit of the family. My love life sucked. Fuming, I turned to go.
‘Paul only wants what’s best for you – just like we do, sweetheart,’ Zia Martina assured.
Even if men like Julian existed out there, it didn’t mean they (or he, in this case) were destined to be with a woman like me. I’d never been the happy-ever-after girl with the soppy love story. Men like Julian didn’t even know I existed – much less were they interested in getting to know my kind better. Men like Julian were only meant for women like me to ogle at and dream about. And dreaming about him, I had to admit, was becoming the norm.
All I had to do was close my eyes and imagine his strong arms around me, his mouth on mine, whispering in between kisses hot, naughty things I hadn’t done in years. And some, I’d never ever done. Just the thought heated my skin and by the time I sat down again opposite Julian, I could hardly look at him.
The meal with Julian and my entire family had been an exception to my constant hunger, although I hadn’t managed to swallow much, with Julian’s eyes on me most of the time. When he sipped his coffee, his eyes would search for mine over the rim, and I’d blush and wipe Maddy’s face or remind Warren not to chew with his mouth open.
If emotionally I was torn to pieces and haunted by images of Julian naked next to me, every night and all night, physically I felt great. Ira’s betrayal had been, looking back, what had finally snapped me out of my hibernation. If it hadn’t been for his betrayal, I’d never have looked at another man. But now I was looking forward to the rest of my life. If only Julian could be part of it all.
Not with your kids’ principal, you can’t, you idiot, my meddling conscience informed me.You don’t want your kids to get too attached. Find someone else.
Trouble was, I didn’t want anyone else, I realized. One thing was sexual fantasies, but truth was, I even enjoyed sitting across from him over coffee. There had never been anyone who had made me feel like Julian. Oh, why couldn’t I have met someone who just wanted to have fun, and not my children’s chief educator?
