Page 48 of The Husband Diet
‘You’re wrong, Paul. Trust me. He thinks I’m some career freak and thus incapable of taking care of my kids. He’s keeping an eye on me so I don’t end up starving them to death or something.’
‘You’re a supreme fool, my dear,’ he said, and he cupped his mouth to form a pretend megaphone. ‘The. Guy. Has. The. Hots. For. You. Big. Time.’
While I was considering Paul’s sci-fi tale, I got a ‘call waiting’ beep.
‘Hang on a sec, will you?’
‘Don’t leave me hanging too long!’ Paul hollered as I clicked the phone.
‘Hello?’
‘Erica. It’s Julian.’
Just the man.
‘Is it too late for you?’
Was it too late for me? About twelve years too late, but who was counting tonight? ‘Oh, hi,’ I said, trying to sound calm and collected. And possibly sexy at the same time.
‘I wanted to thank you for such a good time.’
I was the one who should have been thanking him. But it sounded too lame to confess. And desperate. ‘Likewise,’ I echoed shyly.
‘By the way, Erica – you looked very pretty tonight.’
No I didn’t – not as pretty as the other moms – but my stomach flipped anyway and I grinned to myself as I rolled onto my back and stuck my legs in the air. They looked slimmer that way.
‘It’s all thanks to Paul. He’s an image counselor and make-up artist.’
‘He had an easy job with you.’
Flattery had already gotten him into my deepest, darkest fantasies. I knew I’d lie awake yet another night and think about the mess I was getting myself into.
‘Erica?’
‘Hm?’
‘Would you like to go for a cup of coffee tomorrow afternoon?’
If I hadn’t been lying down, I’d have fallen over. Now, an invitation for coffee sounded like the perfect way to start something completely inappropriate with your kids’ principal. I loved it! But why me? I was ages away from his kind of friends – baseball champions and beautiful girls. I could give him nothing. What could he possibly want from me?
‘Er, can you hang on a second? I have an incoming call,’ I lied.
‘Sure. I won’t budge from here.’
‘Should I accept Julian’s invitation to go for coffee?’ I whispered to Paul over the phone as if Julian could hear me. I could almost see Paul jump with glee.
‘I knew it! Is the hot principal waiting on the other line?’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Should I go or not?’
‘Of course you have to go! You can’t let him get away from us! He’s my impossible dream! You have to keep him around, if only for me to gape at, honey! Plus, I want to know what he’s like in the sack.’
‘Stop that,’ I said. ‘He’s my kids’ principal. And I don’t want Ira knowing anything about it.’
‘Honey, you’re separated, albeit in the same house. How long does Ira need to move out, for Christ sake?’
‘Right, I get it. You’re sonotthe person to talk to in this situation. Or maybe you are. What do I wear?’
