Page 90 of The Husband Diet
He was so sweet, it scared me. I turned to look at him. Was he asking me for himself or for me? I could no longer keep him hanging. It wasn’t fair on him.
‘Ah… well,’ was all I could say, not being one for words when talking about private stuff.
And then there was an awkward silence, which I knew he was waiting for me to fill. But then he took my hand, guiding me to his jeep, where he opened the door, helped me in, closed it and grinned at me.
I swallowed. I wasn’t used to having someone looking at me so intensely. Then he leaned in and took my chin in his hand. I closed my eyes and he dropped a smackingly delicious kiss on my mouth. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, almost pulling him in through the window.
‘I think you know how I feel about you,’ I murmured into his ear.
He shivered, squeezing my upper arm. ‘Do I…?’
*
As I was putting away some groceries the next day, the doorbell rang. It was Ira again, his face drawn and his eyes sunken, as if suffering from a severe illness.
‘I’ll call the kids down,’ I managed, grinding my teeth. ‘Be nice.’
‘I-I need to talk to you first, Erica.’
I opened the door wider to let him in against my better judgment. ‘What is it?’
He nodded his thanks and sat down on the sofa, fidgeting with his tie like a rookie at his first job interview. I sat opposite him, my heart racing. What could he possiblywantstill?
Then he took a deep breath and said it. ‘I want to come back home, Erica.’
I shot to my feet and instinctively headed for the kitchen. Why, I don’t know. It was the place I felt safest in the house. The place where I excelled. It hadn’t certainly been the bedroom, according to him.
He followed me into the kitchen – another first – where I continued to pull the groceries out of the bags. It had always been obvious to me from day one that Maxine wouldn’t last long, butcome on. It wasn’t even Easter yet.
And now he realized that he was alone with a twenty-something year-old who was completely clueless about the sacrifices of being in a relationship. Now he knew what he’d lost, leaving us – a strong, sturdy presence – behind him. A family.
‘Listen, I already told you that you can see the kids anytime you want,’ I said, but Ira shook his head, taking the milk carton out of my hands and stilling me so I was looking straight into his eyes.
The eyes that I had once loved so passionately. So hopelessly. Now, they just made me sick.
‘I know, but… can’t we work it out?’
I pushed him away. ‘No, we can’t, and for the record, don’t even dream of applying for full custody.’ Years and years of dreaming murder would come in handy if he went down that road.
‘No, Erica – I don’t want full custody. Listen to me, please. I’m so, so sorry. I miss you – not just the kids. I missyou, my wife.’
I stared at him stupidly as he said the words I’d waited to hear for twelve years. Ira still loved me. Ira wanted me back. What a bunch ofbull.
I buried myself in the fridge, stacking my dairy products. Milk, cheese, butter, yogh…
‘Erica, honey…’
Thathoneycould have been useful while I was trying to win his heart, once upon a billion years ago.
I faced him again, the blood flooding into my cheeks, and let it all out in one breath. ‘What happened? Was Pristine Maxine too high-maintenance for you? Doesn’t she want the kids around? Good, because guess what? They’re not interested in hanging around her, either, or any of your poor victims.’
‘Please, Erica. Forgive me,’ he said softly, his hand on my shoulder. ‘I made a big mistake. I need you. You give my life a meaning. You’re my rock. I love you.’
I flung his arm off me and moved away. ‘No, you don’t, Ira. You don’t treat people you love like you’ve treated me and your children all these years.’
He stepped closer, his fingers tightening around my wrist. ‘No – you don’t understand. I need your support.’
‘I do understand. You think you made a mistake, but you haven’t. You left because you didn’t love me. Or the kids.’
