Page 40 of Storm in a D Cup

‘Like…’ I faltered. ‘You wouldn’t be the first person to have… an affair.’

At that, her head snapped up and our eyes met. Hers were angry. ‘I think you should go,’ she said.

‘I—I’m sosorry…’ I whispered, realizing what I’d said.

Renata turned away from me, busying herself with her earring. ‘You need to go, Erica.’

‘OK, Renata. But I really am sorry. Please forgive me.’

So I drove my family home, sad at how such a happy afternoon had been ruined by a dirty bully and my own big mouth. So I decided to keep a closer eye on her from now on.

‘That’s so awesome, a man wanting another man’s woman so much he’ll even come to your front door in broad daylight,’ Maddy swooned as our gates swung open.

‘As opposed to what, sending you impersonal text messages or emails?’ I countered. These kids today. ‘And besides, he’s not in love with Renata.’

‘Oh, no?’ Maddy snorted. She was still mad at me. ‘And what do you think he wanted from her, candies?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘I think he’s a very bad man who likes to push people around.’

‘Why?’

‘Because he thinks he can.’

*

Which got me thinking. Had he bullied Renata into seeing him again? Or had it just happened, for old times’ sake, and she couldn’t get out of it because the pull of a past flame was just too strong to get away from? Or because there was something missing in her marriage? Or was I imagining everything? And if so, then what business did he have hovering around Renata’s house? Did he want to take her down memory lane? Did he want her back? And how did she feel about that? As much as she and Marco were solid, would she entertain a little foray into the pleasures of adultery? I just didn’t know.

But it was common knowledge that Leonardowasgood in bed, and we all know what married life is like after you’ve had the kids and the years have dragged by. Or so they say. Me, I’ve never thought about anyone else. And it had better be the same for Julian.

And then the thought – was Julian going through the same thing with Genie Stacie? OK, he wouldn’t cheat on me (right?) but maybe all these memories from his carefree, jet-setty past were coming to the fore?

I guess it’s normal for everyone to compare their past to their present, to see how they’ve done for themselves in life. Personally, anything after Ira would have been a huge improvement, but I’d be lying through my teeth if I didn’t admit that with Julian I actually lucked out a million times over.

But when he looked back at his life and where he was now, did he think the same thing about me? Now I know what you’re thinking. That he did, and that he was happy with me, because I’m your average underdog who got a long-deserved break, and for that I thank you. It’s nice to see our kind finally getting a piece of the pie.

But say, for argument’s sake, that when Julian looked back and analyzed his own choices… that I didn’t come up among his best? And say that he wished he hadn’t made the decision to come to Italy (not so absurd, seeing as he is constantly leaving it) and that he actually felt trapped in this Tuscan life with me, and that he longed for the days when he was free and didn’t have to report back – or even come back?

And say that the only reason he did come back was that he felt duty-bound to do so because in a moment of mad love, he had adopted my two kids?

And say that he didn’t have the heart to tell me any of this, but was waiting for me to figure it out by myself so he wouldn’t have to be the heart-breaker?

Well, one thing was sure. If he could have his cake and eat it too, so could I. Who said he was to be the only one enjoying the simple pleasures of life outside the family sphere? And who said I was to wait patiently, like Penelope forever weaving on her loom, for her man to come home?

*

The next afternoon as I was down in the front garden giving my brand-new (and hunky) gardener Piero instructions, my cell phone rang inside my pocket. I squinted at the sunlit screen and Julian’s face beamed up at me. Despite myself, my heart skipped a beat. Damn, would I never be indifferent to his charm?

‘Hello?’ I said.

‘Hi, honey, how are things?’ he asked from the other side of the Atlantic Ocean as if he could do anything about it otherwise.

Exactly the way you left them, would have been my first response but I bit my tongue. After all, I was supposed to be working on us, at the end of the day. I didn’t want to make things any worse, did I?

‘Good, everything’s good,’ I said as coolly as possible, when all I really wanted to do was say,I miss you. When are you coming home?

‘And the kids?’

‘The kids included.’

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