Page 41 of Storm in a D Cup

‘Good, good. Sorry, honey, but I’ve got bad news. I’m going to have to cancel my flight home,’ Julian said.

Bingo. What did I tell you? I know my chickens, they say here in Italy. Only I think the real chicken here was me. No, actually, it was him as well, because he didn’t have the guts to come right out and say how things really were. But there was no use starting yet another one of our arguments across the ether, was there?

‘What? Why?’

‘I’m so sorry, but this producer wants me to meet some financers.’

‘Erica, how do you like it – is it big enough for you?’ Piero asked from the back door, referring to a new rosebush I wanted planting.

‘Who’s that?’ Julian asked.

Shit.I covered the mouthpiece but it was too late. I hadn’t told Julian about Piero yet. Years ago we’d agreed to make joint decisions on everything, but he wasn’t around when I needed to hire another gardener. So much for breaking it to him gently.

‘Uh, that was our new gardener, Piero.’

Silence.

And then, to make things worse while trying to make them better, I explained, or tried to. ‘I needed him to plant my bushes.’

Silence again on the other end as I could hear him trying to make sense of it and it wasn’t looking good. ‘You mean you’re meeting more money people?’ I asked, trying to get the conversation back to safer ground. ‘That’s great!’

‘You hired a gardener without even telling me? I thought I was in charge of your bushes,’ he added.

Yeah, so did I. ‘Youwerein charge. And you did a great job. But you’re never around anymore, and they need tending to.’ OK, this was getting farcical. So I tried to explain. ‘I’m not good with plants – you know that. Remember my succulents, the ones on my windowsill in Boston? Remember how you used to water them just in the nick of time?’

‘Erica, what the hell?’ Boy, he wasn’t letting this one go, was he?

‘Are you jealous?’ I asked hopefully.

‘Bloody right I am,’ he swore, his Liverpudlian accent at its most obvious when he was angry, which was very rare.

‘Good. I’m sorry, but you were away. I needed the job done. Be thankful I didn’t need anything else instead.’

Dead silence.

‘OK, that was a joke.’

He sighed loudly. ‘You could have at least let me know what was going on.’

Piero looked at me expectantly. ‘I’ll be with you in a minute, Piero. Honey, I have to go.’

‘PieroHoney?’ Julian echoed me.

‘What?’

‘You just called him honey!’

‘What are you talking about? I calledyouhoney, not him.’ I shot a glance at Piero who was waiting patiently. Luckily his English was non-existent. ‘Julian –honey, I have to go. Piero needs me.’

‘Indeed,’ Julian said, rather teed off.

‘I have to go now, Julian,’ I repeated.

‘Fine,’ he snapped. ‘Goodbye.’

‘Goodbye,’ I replied and pressed the red button.

So he was angry. Good. It served him right. If he could have Genie Stacie, I could have Piero. I wondered how we had managed to start this sillyI’ll-show-yougame. Although it was childish, it made me feel better. For about two minutes.

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