Page 69 of Storm in a D Cup

She looked up at me, hope brightening her face. ‘Why are you doing this for me?’

‘Because I like you.’

‘You’re actually not so bad yourself. I think you’re the nicest of all the ex-boyfriends’ wives.’

‘Why thank you, Joey. Now get some sleep.’

She nodded and, satisfied, lay back against the pillows, a faint grin on her face.

*

‘Fat!’ I spat later in the bedroom as we were getting ready for bed. ‘Can you imagine that? Your friend needs a reality check, Julian. She’s a bloody psycho, and someone should lock her up before she kills her daughter.’

But Julian was too indignant to even answer, his jaw tight. ‘She was always a bit of a flake, but my God, how could she have changed so much?’ he said softly.

‘She is a danger to that girl,’ I blurted fiercely, feeling the tears coming back. ‘She doesn’t even deserve to be a mother! (If you detect a sense of anger/jealousy, you’re absolutely right. I’d been trying for months to have a baby and this whacko had a true treasure of a daughter and didn’t realize it.) ‘She has no idea of what it means to take care of someone besides herself!’

‘Hollywood is full of anorexic teenagers,’ Julian said distractedly. ‘Maybe it’s not her fault after all. Girls today want to be slim – look at Maddy.’

‘Don’t… compare that ghost of a girl to my daughter.’

‘Ourdaughter,’ Julian corrected me.

‘And FYI, Joey is not anorexic,’ I informed him. ‘She tries to eat normally when she can. And she downed a chocolate bar in three minutes flat.’

‘Does that mean she’s not anorexic, and that maybe she’s bulimic?’

‘Terrified of her mother, that’s what she is,’ I said. ‘The girl is starving because her mother won’t let her eat properly.’

Julian ran his hand through his hair. ‘You’re absolutely right.’

‘Can you imagine that poor girl having to face the next six months in Africa with her mom?’ It was obvious that I wasn’t going to let Genie Stacie take Joey anywhere. ‘Andlive with someone like Genie Stacie?’

‘Well, she is Joey’s mother,’ Julian said half-defensively, and I whirled around on my heels to face him. ‘That is exactly what is wrong with this world. She can’t even take care of herself, let alone a child. What the hell was she thinking? And doesn’t Tomwhatshisfaceeven care?’

‘You mean Tom Jackson? Genie Stacie has full custody,’ Julian answered. ‘Tom doesn’t even pay her alimony, nor does he care about the kid.’ Well, Julian seemed to know pretty much everything about it. I could already see Genie Stacie pouring her heart out to Julian about how hard it is to be a star and a single mother, and the schmuck listening sympathetically. Puh-lease!

‘If a woman can’t be a proper mother she should not be a mother at all,’ I declared. ‘She shouldn’t be allowed to have children. It’s just wrong and unfair to the kid.’

As my voice cracked again Julian glanced at me, but said nothing, when by now he would have wrapped his arms around me to comfort me. But he stayed where he was.

I dashed my knuckles across my eyes and nodded. I wasnotgoing to take this personally. ‘In the meantime, other women – good, capable women – are dying to have kids.’

‘Erica,’ he whispered as he got up to stand before me. He seemed to want to reach out and hold me, but something was blocking him. When had this happened to us? We were usually melded to each other, couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and now? The minute we decided to extend our family, we started to fall apart and there was nothing I could do to keep the pieces from sliding out of place.

‘I don’t mean only me… just… women in general, you know?’ I sniffed, reaching out to hold him. He didn’t move away, but, Jesus in heaven, he didn’t put his arms around me either. So it was all true, then. This was the beginning of the end. This was his way of putting some distance between us before telling me about him and Genie Stacie. That he was going to marry her as soon as he got a divorce from me.

Oh my God, how had this happened to us so quickly? Were we really that fragile as a couple, despite all we’d been through together? Was this really happening to us, historical Erica and Julian who had been through hell and back just so they could be together?

‘And you – you wanted to be a father…’

At that, he looked at me, suddenly guardedly. ‘I… don’t know what I want, right now…’

And there it was. The truth, in a whisper, as if it could somehow soften the blow of what he’d just confessed to me. It was so, so simple. Julian didn’t love me anymore. Nor did he want a child with me.

I broke the embrace. ‘You don’t want a baby anymore?’

‘I… I’m not sure. I’ve got a lot on my mind.’

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