Page 74 of Storm in a D Cup

‘Yuh,’ I agreed miserably. ‘I’m supposed to go pick her up in ten minutes.’

‘I’ll go,’ Renata volunteered. ‘You stay put, OK?’

‘Will you bring her back to my house and tell her I’ve gone grocery shopping or something?’ I whimpered. ‘I don’t want her to see me like this.’

‘Of course. You just try to calm down and get some rest. I’ll be back in twenty minutes. OK?’

‘’kay,’ I obeyed, hunkering down deep into her amazingly miso-friendly sofa. ‘Thanks, Renata.’

Her gentle hand ruffled the top of my head and I closed my eyes, comforted by the knowledge that I was loved, if not by Julian anymore. Renata would stick by my side. Which was what I was going to do for her if and when she decided to tell me what was going on with Leonardo. If there was indeed nothing between them, was he making their business difficult as he’d done to others? And if so, she should tell Marco. Marriages. They took forever to build and a second to tear them down.

When I got home later and all cried out, the house was absolutely still.

I tiptoed up to Maddy’s room. She was lying in bed, bopping her head to inaudible music in her earphones, a half-eaten focaccia on her bedside table. I pitied her instantly, so happy in her own carefree little world. It would not last long. Sooner or later we would have to tell her and Warren about Genie Stacie and Joey and us being no longer.

I checked the other rooms. No sign of Julian and/or Genie Stacie or Joey. Had Julian moved out? I checked his closet and found a half-filled suitcase.

I gulped to suppress another sob. No. I couldn’t let Maddy see me like this. I was her tower of strength, whether she knew it or not. How I behaved in consequence would imprint on her forever. I actually wanted to punch a hole in the stone wall, but what did I do instead?

I went back downstairs to the kitchen and began to peel onions. Lots of them, and soon my face was bathed in tears due to the fumes. That was what I told myself. But my onions and I knew far too well how this went. We all knew the drill, even if it had been a while.Hello, my old friends. My, there are so many of you! And you are particularly strong tonight! Let your fumes fly into my eyes like they did yesteryear, and hide my real tears like you always have!

Needless to say my French onion soup was delicious, and I ate dinner all by myself in the kitchen, because if there was anything lately that Maddy hated more than onion soup, it was me.

*

As the key in the lock ground and the front door opened, I steeled myself to stay strong. I had fled our previous meeting with Julian, leaving him in no doubt as to how I felt about the entire Joey thing. But that was the thing. IlovedJoey. I wanted her to have a better mother than Genie Stacie. Given the chance, I would have taken care of her. The operative word beinggiven the chance.

Julian tiptoed into the kitchen, eyeing me, his face asking:Is it safe?

Was it? Was it safe to walk all over crystalized shards of my heart?

‘Hey,’ he finally said, as if absolutely nothing had happened. ‘Can we talk?’

I almost choked on a gob of melted cheese as I wondered,There’s more?

Julian came to sit opposite me at the table. ‘I know all this is unfair on you.’

I said nothing, just scooping up soup into my spoon and emptying it repeatedly as if on autopilot.

‘But I will keep you informed. Tomorrow I should be getting the results of the DNA test.’

‘How nice for you,’ I quipped, completely absorbed by my spoon.

‘Erica. I understand that you are upset.’

Upset? Ha. I was past that. I felt betrayed. Like he’d slit my throat while I was sleeping because he didn’t have the guts to look me in the face while he drove the knife across my neck.

There were decisions to be made, of course. Like who was moving out, for instance. How we’d tell the kids about their father’s new lease of life with a new wife and a new kid. All in due time. It was certainly a conversation that was not up to me to instigate.

‘So is this why you are getting engaged? Or do you really love her?’ I blurted out instead.

His eyes widened. ‘Sorry, er, what?’

‘Iknow, Julian,’ I whimpered, unable to help myself as tears flooded my face, ‘about the engagement party…’

‘Sorry, you’ve completely lost me,’ Julian asked, a blank look on his face. ‘Whose engagement party?’

I looked up at him. Either he wasn’t ready to tell me yet, or I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Better to stick to the facts. To hell with Paul’s secret, this was our family we were talking about here. So I took a deep breath.

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