Page 9 of Storm in a D Cup

‘Who is she? Tell me!’ I screamed, my voice sounding muffled, echoey, like I was crying from said bottom of the ocean, and after a confused moment of silence, the line went dead. ‘Tell me!’

‘Sweetheart,’ came a voice from above the ocean, and I flapped my arms as if they were fins, trying to make my way back to the surface. ‘Wake up, sweetie, you’re having a bad dream.’

I opened my eyes, relieved it was only a nightmare. But it wasn’t, because the bed was still empty. I hadn’t dreamed it at all. Julian really was dead.

‘Julian!’ I cried at the top of my lungs, my throat dry and my heart a big black swinging demolition ball in my chest. ‘Julian, come back!’

‘I’m just here, sweetie,’ came his voice, followed by his beautiful head as it poked around the corner of the door to the en suite bathroom. He returned with a glass of water and sat down on the bed next to me as I gulped it down in one snap of my neck and threw myself up into his arms, squashing his midsection, trying to explain.

‘You had died!’ I managed before I broke down into a new fit of tears. ‘In a car crash on the way to your lover’s house!’

Julian put his arms around me and moaned, ‘Again? Serves me right then, doesn’t it?’

‘It’s not funny, you know,’ I argued, trying to shake off the dreadful feeling of tragedy that still clung to me like a pair of soaking pajamas.

But then his face split into a grin, and it was like the sun had come out in the middle of the night. ‘Honey, when are you going to get it that I’m not going anywhere? And that I drive very carefully.’

‘But youcheatedon me…’

He sighed. ‘Only in your worst nightmares. But you know I love you and you only. And I wouldn’t cheat on you for all the women in the world. Not ever. OK?’

I nodded fiercely, refusing to let go of him. Boy, if this kept up I’d have to fly my former shrink, Dr. Denholm, over in a jiffy. Maybe even take him up as a permanent resident here at A Taste of Tuscany. Crap, was this what my life was becoming? I had a wonderful husband, a loving family, a business that I actually liked. And I’d never looked and felt happier or healthier.

On theoutside. But on the inside, it was pure chaos. My mind was going for a hike every night. But luckily it returned before I woke up in the morning. How did people – OK, I meanme– have such bad dreams and actually manage to keep a hold on their (my) sanity?

The truth was that, after years of marriage to this wonderful, sexy man, I was so happy I was terrified. All I needed was one glitch and my whole world would cave in. All I needed was one of my loved ones to be in an accident or become ill and goodnight Vienna. That was our life down the toilet. Did I really need all that drama, all thattragedy, in my life? What the heck was wrong with me?

Smarten up,a demon-voice inside me would then say.Can’t you see he’s cheating on you – left, right and center? Do you really think that such a good-looking guy is going to stay faithful to you?

Of course I do,I’d answer the mean voice, and then I’d be OK for a while.

Until I got those foreboding feelings, you know, when you are positively certain that some tragedy is going to strike?

Nonsense,I’d try to reassure myself.Nothing bad is going to happen. Just shut up and enjoy your life, you lucky idiot. Julian loves you and that’s that.

And I really believed he did. Until another woman would land like a bomb on our home (only I didn’t know that yet), and my nightmare would come true.

My brain was a one-woman band with multiple personalities. One day I’d be so confident about everything and the next I wasn’t even sure of my rock-solid skills, like cooking, painting and my business sense.

‘Erica…?’ Julian said.

I looked up, my arms still wrapped tight around him. ‘Yeah?’

‘Can you let go, sweetie? I’ve just got in and I’m breaking my neck for a pee.’

‘Oh. Sorry.’ I leaned back in bed, pulling the covers all the way up to my chin despite the fact it was May.Crisis averted. I can now relax.

But just as I was getting back to sleep Julian’s cell phone rang. Two a.m. What the hell?

‘Can you get that?’ he called from the bathroom. ‘It’s probably Terry – he’s worse than your sister with time zones.’

I groaned and rolled over to his side of the bed and night table. ‘Hello?’

Silence again.

Now this time I was awake and Julian was here, safe and sound. Unless… Maddy? Warren? Alarm bells started ringing. I expected to hear Angelica’s mom or Stefania saying something had happened, but no one spoke.

‘Hello?’ I said, louder, sitting up.

---