He looked at me, his eyes red. Whether from fatigue or tears, I didn’t know. ‘I have never lied to you about a single thing, Erica. And I forgave you for kissing Alberto…’ he whispered. ‘I believed you. Why can’t you believe me when I say that I feel nothing for her?’
‘Because this is not the same. Your engagement is all over the news!’
His jaw dropped, but he said nothing. What could he possibly say?
‘Just as I thought,’ I spat.
‘Just a minute, please,’ he suddenly said. ‘You know what the press is like. She must have said something and they ate it all up.’
‘She did, did she? She must have been pretty confident to give out such a statement!’
‘Oh God, Erica, not again, please?’
‘Oh, so I’m annoying you now, am I?’
Julian groaned and sat down on the bed. I ignored him and left to sleep in the guest bedroom. There was no way I could sleep with him by my side tonight – or ever again. Not with this hanging between us, and this was something that wasn’t going away. A child, I could take, even if the fact reminded me of my own shortcomings in the fertility department. Because, first of all, Joey was adorable and second of all, it happened years before we had met and was really no one’s fault. But this humiliation on a global level? Not in a million years.
22
Goodbye
Before I knew it, fall was over and with it all my hopes of motherhood and a happy marriage. Julian and I were barely talking again as he was flying to the States on a regular basis, because how I felt was of no consequence to him.
Sure, he’d tried to explain several times, but all I could hear were lies. The real Julian was long gone. Had been gone for quite a while now. Not only did he not care how I felt, he did nothing to alleviate my pain. We were officially over. It only remained for one of us to actually move out.
He came and went and I didn’t even know where. Let him go to New York, L.A., Liechtenstein, for all I cared. Let him go anywhere he wanted. I didn’t need to know how he and Genie Stacie were facing parenthood together. I only felt bad because Joey wasn’t at fault.
*
The phone call came out of the blue. At first I didn’t recognize the muffled moan and thought it was a dirty crank call. You know, where the guy asks you how big your boobs are. I was about to hang up when I heard: ‘Erica? Erica?’
Renata? Was she in trouble?
‘It’s Judy…’
‘Judy, what’s up? Who was that on the phone just now?’
Silence, then: ‘Vince.’
‘What’s wrong? Is he crying?’
‘Erica, you have to come home…’
My heart shrank into a marble at the bottom of my stomach. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘It’s Dad… he died this morning.’
*
One phone call and Renata was there, her kids in tow, to drop me off at the airport and later go pick Maddy up from school and tell her and Warren what had happened.
I had thrown a few things into an overnight case, not sure what I was doing or how long I’d be staying. I swiped at my eyes, refusing to fall apart.Passport. House keys for when I got back. Toothbrush. Cell phone, even if it didn’t work in the US. Wallet.
‘When did it happen?’ Renata asked as she passed me some other items she thought I might need and I lobbed them into my bag.
‘This morning. I have to go, I have to go. Judy and Vince don’t do well in emergencies.’
Renata put a hand on my shoulder. ‘Sweetheart, if there’s anything—’