‘Lily?’ Her voice already grates– breathy and gentle andnice.
I can understand her hatred. I’ll never forget that horrible dark night in the hospital waiting room as she shrieked at me.I can’t believe you left her alone in the apartment! What were you thinking?
I had no answer. She was merely voicing the same things I’d been shrieking at myself.
‘What’s going on?’ I ask. Of course, there’s a fierce little hope at the reason she might be calling– but I squash it.
‘I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time,’ she says. ‘I know you’re out of the country right now.’
‘This is a fine time,’ I say, using all my self-control to keep my voice calm. For the love of God, woman, just tell me why you’re calling. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘Well… this is maybe a little awkward, but…’
I bang my fist silently against the table and watch the poké shake.
‘There’s a picture.’
What?
‘And Don was wondering if perhaps you have it. Maybe in a box with some of Jessica’s old things? It’s from her college graduation. She’s in her cap and gown, and Don and I are on either side. We’d just like to have it back. If you don’t mind looking for it. Jessica’s birthday is coming up, you know, and I’m making a little collage for the party.’
It doesn’t escape my notice that there is no invitation for me.
Not that I’d want to go.
Jess isn’t here any more. It makes me feel sick inside toenvision Don and Beth Ann in party mode, putting on a celebration and waxing sentimental over old photographs.
Beth Ann talks on. ‘One of us could pick it up from you, or you could mail it. We’d just really like to have that picture back.’
‘Sorry. I don’t remember that picture,’ I say, leaning my forehead on my clenched fist and squeezing my eyes shut.You kept what was supposed to be mine, I want to scream at her,and now you’re shaking me down for a picture? Don’t you understand that I have nothing left?
‘Well, perhaps you could check…’ Beth Ann lets her voice trail off.
‘Yeah. OK. I’ll let you know,’ I say, and then I disconnect the call.
I won’t check. And I won’t let her know.Fuck you, I think. I remember Jessica’s stories about how her mom would put them both on ‘little diets’ in advance of swimsuit season. Early on in our relationship, Jess rolled her eyes and laughed as she told me these stories, like it was just another annoying eccentricity of her trim mother, along with her obsessive flossing and consummate vacuuming. But I’ve never forgotten.
I rip the paper off the disposable chopsticks, target a piece of tuna and, for a few minutes, just allow myself to enjoy the food. The velvety texture of the spicy mayo, the juicy sweetness of the diced mango. The crunch of tempura flakes and the bursting salty pearls of roe.
By the time I’m dredging the last bite of rice through the sauce at the bottom of the bowl, I’m ready to dive back into my research. Sean comes to take away my bowl.
‘Hope you enjoyed it.’
‘It was perfect. Hey– you hear all the Riovan gossip here.’
He nods, that amused smile already back on his lips.
‘Has anyone been talking about that death last year?’
Sean’s eyes crinkle in thought. ‘Actually… yeah. An American from a magazine was here just a few days ago. Daniel something. He was asking what I knew about the guy. I said, I heard he was some bigshot in the music industry, and there was an accident of some kind.’
Oh shit.
Sean continues. ‘Daniel said, did you hear what kind of accident, and I said no, my impression was the staff wasn’t in the know either. Management kept a tight lid on that one. My educated guess? Drugs. It’s always drugs with these celebrities.’ Sean nods slowly, as if the motion of his head is jogging his memory. ‘But then, he started asking about the hurricane. Yeah, he was really interested in the hurricane.’
Wait– huh? My expression must show my confusion, because Sean keeps talking.
‘Yeah, ten years ago, wasn’t it? Hurricane Alberta. Destroyed everything.’ He swipes flattened palms through the air. ‘The Riovan rebuilt in six months, but Brisebleue…’ He shrugs. ‘We never really recovered here. I mean, Randy had some savings, add in some sweat equity, we brought Island Vibes back within a year.’ He gives me a half-smile. ‘I was the plumber, the electrician, the dry-waller, you name it. Learned a lot that year. But that guy, Daniel– he was curious about local resentment, you know? And Randy’s story. Why he chose to build here instead of closer to the resort where he’d get more business. If there was... I don’t know. Bad bloodbetween us and the Riovan. At that point, I’d had enough of him, so I told him he’d have to talk to Randy.’