Page 59 of Beach Bodies

Not on the stairs, like I was thinking before, but the very rocks where she recorded herself slipping already. Obvious. Perfect.

It’ll be a shove. Nothing with tools or electrical panels– nothing that will leave evidence behind. No doubt she’s a strong swimmer, so first I may have to bash her head on the rocks. When they find her body– bodies always wash up– they’ll see the trauma on her head, but it will be easy to assume she hit it going down. The viral TikTok will resurface, a sign of what was to come, a dark omen people will be eager to believe.The irony, they’ll say.Such a loss for the Riovan.

I wash my hands, dry them with the ultra-soft paper towels, and toss the damp, crumpled mess into the trash.

I smile to myself. This is a good plan. Despite the tumultuous start to this year’s trip, everything is falling into place like it always does.

As long as Daniel doesn’t interfere.

His presence is an added risk, that’s for damn sure. But I’m here for a reason, and I’m not about to let Daniel Lukiewicz stop me. I’ll just have to be more careful than ever– and that starts with figuring out exactly what he knows– or thinks he knows. Tonight. At the Sunset.

While we eat and drink and flirt, I’ll pretend everythingwith Daniel is fine. I’ll put him at ease with a piña colada or three. And I’ll find out once and for all what the hell he’s up to, using whatever means necessary– such as the low-cut top I have in mind. I won’t even feel bad about using alcohol and sex. In my playbook, the ends always justify the means.

Chapter Twenty-one

‘Try this.’ My roommate River has been totally into the fact that I’m going on a date. She’s leaning into the bathroom where I’ve been getting ready, exuding innocent excitement, holding up a tube of lipstick.

‘Oooh, thanks,’ I say, taking it from her.

‘So is this, like, a summer hook-up, or is there potential?’ says River, crossing her arms as I turn the lipstick upside down to examine the label. The shade is calledNot Tonight. I frown. Is that foreboding or auspicious?

At least I know I won’t be sleepwalking tonight. I have the benzos in my purse. They weren’t even hard to get– the Riovan pharmacy is fast and loose. I told the pharmacist what I wanted and picked the pills up between lifeguarding shifts. I paid in cash and gave a fake name; no one even asked for my ID. Easy peasy.

‘I don’t know,’ I say cautiously, uncapping the lipstick. ‘I’m still feeling him out.’

‘He’s cute, though,’ River says. ‘We’ve all kind of, erm…noticed him. Don’t you think he looks like Wolverine from the first X-Men movie?’

‘Oh?’ I say, as if I didn’t have that identical thought the first time I saw him. ‘Yeah, I guess I could see that.’

‘Maybe you could bring him to that party.’

‘What party?’

‘The one at Island Vibes on Friday. Didn’t you see the flyers in the staff room? Everyone’s going! I mean, half-priced drinks, hell yes. And it’s supposed to be really, like,authenticup there.’

‘Oh, awesome,’ I say, but my mind just isn’t there.

I make the first stroke of lipstick along the upper outline of my lip, following the curve and dip. Then the lower lip. The last time I wore lipstick was…

Jessica, of course. She holds so many last times. It was the welcome-home date I planned for when she got out of treatment. We dressed up, her in a teal wrap dress, me in a retro A-line with an electric guitar print, and walked around the Botanical Garden. My first thought had been dinner, but a date focused on food all of a sudden didn’t feel so safe.

It was really sunny. I forgot my sunglasses, and my cheeks soon hurt from squinting. We held hands. Had her hand in mine always felt so small, so delicate? We admired the flowers and took a million pictures. I had a million questions for her, but I held back, and she didn’t offer much. Until the end of the day when she smiled and said, ‘Thanks, Lil. That was... almost perfect.’

‘Almost?’ I said, already doing a lightning-speed mental review of the day. ‘Did I… do something?’

‘It’s more like what we didn’t do…’ She bit her lip and grinned. ‘Can we get some kimchi fries from Fufu’s? I’m starved.’

I started laughing, and then crying, and then we were hugging, and I thought,She’s back. She’s really, really back.

I step back from the mirror to survey the results.

‘Yes!’ River claps her hands, making her adorable top knot bob. ‘That istheperfect colour on you!’

She’s not wrong. The blood-red shade makes my skin look alive, golden, the few tiny freckles across my nose and cheeks shining like sand-sprinkles in the sun. I look…like my mom.

The vision is so sudden, it feels like my heart stops beating. I freeze. I don’t want to break eye contact with myself, in case Mom goes away.

‘You OK?’ says River after a minute.

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