Page 1 of Peripheral Vision

Prologue

DYLAN

Why does nobody ever talk about how life can change in the blink of an eye? Sure, we’re always told it can, but nobody has ever bothered to actuallyexplainto me what happens after it does. How to handle it. Why things happen the way they do. I feel completely and utterly unprepared with how to navigate my day-to-day life now, ever since I’ve been left entirely alone. Well, maybe not entirely. I look at Alaska, the eight-year-old Golden Retriever that my dad rescued just before my fourteenth birthday seven years ago, where she lays on her bed next to my own. She was just younger than a year old. She had been tied up on a lead outside of some shady trailer in our area with no shelter, and her food and water bowl were almost always empty or out of reach. She had been all skin and bones before he bought her off her piece of shit owners. They definitely overcharged, but Dad said that easing an animal’s suffering has no price tag. It’s one of my favorite things about him—or was, I suppose.

He’s being flown in today, but instead of riding in economy in his desert camos like all the times in the past, he’s riding in cargo, in a pretty wooden box. I roll over in bed, staring at the time on my alarmclock— 5:03 a.m. I sigh, wondering when I will ever sleep again. I haven’t slept a wink since the two US Naval Officers showed up on our doorstep on base a week ago, dressed in their finest, to offer their condolences. They said he had been leading a special forces mission in the Mediterranean when their team had been ambushed. His funeral is set for next week. I called Arlington immediately to schedule it. It’s always been his dream to be buried there like his father, my grandfather, before him. Unfortunately, I’m not sure who else will show up besides his military mates, my uncle, and myself. My life giver, because she isn’t worthy of being called a mother, abandoned me shortly after I was born, and we haven’t heard from her in my entire twenty-two years. If she’s alive, I’d have no way of knowing. I don’t want to know. Not after I was born in withdrawal. And as for my grandma, she doesn’t even know who she is most days.

I called the nursing home where she is being taken care of now to see how she is doing; to see if she’s been having any good days to gauge. But the nurses informed me that if anything, she is getting worse. Spending most of her time sleeping or sitting in front of the window, looking out on the facilities garden and pond. The only saving grace with Dad’s death is the death gratuity paid out to any surviving family, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to continue to afford our half of Grandma’s care. I’ve only got one more year where I’d be eligible to receive any retirement benefits of his, so I can’t count on that. But fifty percent of the gratuity has been designated for her care, which should cover the expenses for her for at least the next few years, if she makes it that long. So long as my uncle continues to pay his dues, I’ll be okay until I can figure out a long-term plan. After that… I’m not sure what I’m going to do.

Groaning, I run my hands down my face, blowing a strand of hair out of my eye. That’s only one thing on my laundry list of things to get squared away. I need to get my courses rolled over from virtual to in-person at Virginia Tech and find a place to rent. I know I could stay on base and continue online courses for the next year, as is myright, but it already feels lonelier since finding out about my father’s passing. To know that he will never walk through the door again and greet me with one of his world-famous hugs and whatever gift he managed to bring home from wherever he was in the world. Those thoughts… the memories, they no longer bring me joy, but pain. I need to be somewhere not so filled with them, somewhere without any daily reminders. And on top of that, I need to search for a job. I wasn’t working while my dad was enlisted because his benefits and pay covered enough for the both of us and ensured I could just focus on my studies. Now, whatever my half of the death gratuity is will be going to my tuition… and I definitely won’t have any left over for rent or food, or basic daily living expenses.

I roll back over before I just give up on falling back asleep and toss the sheets back. Like I said, more preparation for life actually changing in the blink of an eye would’ve been great. When it rains, it’s a fucking torrential downpour.

Chapter

One

DYLAN

“Dylan.”

“Dylan.”

“Earth to Dylan.” A hand waves in front of my face as I blink away my thoughts. “Where’d you go?” Thea asks, concern written all over her face.

Thea is one of my oldest friends on base, and she also happens to be my neighbor across the street. We met when Dad and I relocated here during our last move. She’s also one of the only friends that I’ve ever been sad about leaving, but we’ve already agreed to keep in touch—Virginia Tech isn’t too far away, after all. But she has to stay because she’s already married with a baby on the way. I can’t even think about being in a relationship, let alone settling down.

“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.” I take a sip of my coffee and set it back down on the table of the cafe we’re sitting in.

“That’s understandable. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No. You have enough to focus on, and even if you could, I have no idea where to start. I just need to get through a week at a time.” I take another sip.

“I’m sorry I won’t be there for his funeral. You know I would have, if?—”

“I know,” I cut her off. “I know.” Thea has an appointment the day of my dad’s funeral, otherwise she would have ridden with me. She offered to reschedule it, but it’s her anatomy scan and I told her she needs to focus on her family, as much as I would want her there. Speaking of… “How are you feeling?”

“I won’t lie, I know what I signed up for when I married Lucas. But having to do most of this alone, with the exception of having you here of course, is hard. I can’t help but be envious of all the women whose partners are able to go to every appointment with them and be able to sit together and plan out what color palette to paint the nursery, or what brand of diapers to buy. It actually makes me nauseous because I would never have been the type to worry about those things. Stupid fucking hormones.” She shakes her head, her black curls bouncing, and I snort.

Just as I’m about to respond, the door to the coffee shop swings open, and from where I’m sitting it gives me a direct view of the tallest man I have ever seen. Thea follows my gaze and her jaw visibly drops. “Holy shit, he’s huge. And hot.” The man still wearing his sunglasses swings his gaze toward us and I stop breathing.

“Thea,” I hiss as I turn back to look at her. “Could you have been any more obvious?” The man smirks and shuts the door before walking to the counter.

“Like I said, stupid fucking hormones. And leave me alone, I’m pregnant. I get a pass. Besides, it didn’t seem like he minded the compliment too much.”

“You’re incorrigible. He looks old enough to be our dad.” I playfully smack her arm.

“I’d call him daddy all day long.”

“THEA,” I gasp, my cheeks heating.

She chuckles. “I’m joking. I’m just trying to get you to lighten up some. You could use a good laugh in light of everything you have going on.”

“Well, you’re doing a terrible job. Don’t make a career out of it.” I giggle, sending a wink her way as I stand up. Whatever level of heaviness that briefly lifted begins to settle back down as I continue, “I’ve got to get going, I need to go pick out my dress for the funeral.”

“I thought you had a dress?”

“Well, I did but turns out I don’t have the same scrawny body my sixteen-year-old self did. It ripped right up the side as soon as I leaned forward to grab something.” I shrug.

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