Page 107 of Our Secrets and Lies

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Lucy fiddled with her napkin and tried not to cry as she explained the trouble Dylan was in because of his partying.

‘He’ll be fine,’ Damien said. ‘All kids make mistakes. It’s part of growing up.’

Lucy frowned. ‘No, it’s really serious, Damien. The parents were going mad. He could lose –’

Damien’s phone rang. He picked it up and looked at the screen, then mouthed an apology while takingthe call. Lucy glared at him. He talked on and on about a case while Lucy simmered opposite him. Eventually he said goodbye to the caller and put his phone down.

‘Sorry for being rude, Lucy, but it’s a new case, a really juicy one. Paul Clark has been accused of –’

‘Damien!’ Lucy snapped. ‘I was in the middle of telling you something really important to me and you still answered that call.’

Damien was clearly startled. ‘But you never mind me taking work calls. You’re usually so understanding about it.’

Lucy leant forward, her voice shaking, ‘I’m really upset about Dylan. I’m terrified he’s going to get kicked off the team and out of the school. This is a huge deal for me and you just dismissed it and took a call.’

Damien sighed. ‘Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?’

Lucygripped her napkin tightly. ‘No, I do not, because it is really serious. The scholarship is a huge deal and it would be humiliating and mortifying for Dylan to blow it becausehe got drunk with some stupid party girl who is leading him astray.’

‘To be fair,’ Damien said, ‘she didn’t make him drink. He did that all by himself. You can’t vilify her.’

‘She’s a bad influence. Before he met thisgirl, Taylor, Dylan was never in trouble in his life. She’s going to ruin everything. He needs to get rid of her. He’s going to break up with her. He has to. And I’m going to make sure he does.’

‘But it was one mistake, Lucy. As you said, he’s never been in trouble before, so that’s reason enough to give him a break now.’

‘You don’t get it.’ Lucy pushed her plate away, her appetite gone.

Damienstared at her for a few seconds, his mouth set in a line. ‘I do actually get it,’ he said quietly, his voice flint-edged. ‘I get that you’re completely obsessed with St Jude’s because Gabriel and Tom went there. You are proud the twins got scholarships there and you want them to shine. You want to prove what wonderful children they are. If they fail, it puts you all in a bad light, proves Gabrielwas right and you are a bad mother. That’s wrong for a number of reasons, not least because Gabriel doesn’t even know they’re his grandchildren.’

‘Yes, but he will. He’s sure to be at one of the events, like the football final, if the team makes it, or the end-of-year prize-giving. He’ll be at something, and when he is, I will rub his nose in it. I’ve been dreaming of it almost every night.’

Damien leant across the table. ‘Listen to yourself, Lucy. This is crazy. Why are you wasting time even thinking about him? You’ve done a wonderful job raising two fine children. Why do you need a man you hate to tell you so before you’ll believe it? Focus on your children and forget Gabriel and Tom.’

‘How can I forget them?’ she hissed. ‘Tom’s their bloody father. Every time I look at Kelly, Isee Tom. Every time I see a father hug his son after a football match, I see the hole in Dylan’s life. It’s easy for you to sit there and say, “Forget about them,” but I can’t. They will always be part of my life, even though I don’t want it.’

Damien reached over for her hand. ‘Lucy, please, you’ve got to stop obsessing about Tom and Gabriel. They’re the past. You have to let it go?’

She snatchedher hand away. He just didn’t get it. Tom had left the twins with no father; every single day she saw that yawning gap in their lives, and it hurt like hell. She wanted nothing more than for Dylan to have a dad hug him after a great game, or for Kelly to have a father cheer loudly as she won yet another class prize. Lucy wanted to look at her children’s father and share the pride and the joy.She was always alone. Yes, Billy was there in the house, but he worked long hours so she was always at school and sports events on her own. She’d watch parents sharing the precious moments of celebration and pride, and feel desperately and acutely alone.

‘I’m not hungry. I think I’ll just go home.’

‘Come on, Lucy, forget about all of it for one night. Have another glass of wine.’

‘I don’t wantto drink. I need a clear head. I have to watch Dylan like a hawk now. I will not let him ruin this opportunity over some stupid girl. No way. I will do everything in my power to prevent that happening.’

‘But you can’t watch him twenty-four/seven,’ Damien said, looking annoyed. ‘Be realistic.’

‘If I have to, I will. This is too important. To be honest, I shouldn’t even be here tonight. I gotJenny to come over and make sure Dylan didn’t go out. Billy is out with his friends. I should go home. I need to be there to keep an eye on things.’

Damien poured himself another glass of wine. ‘Seriously, Lucy, you need to calm down. He’s a seventeen-year-old boy, you can’t stalk him. He’s almost an adult, for God’s sake. I’m sure he knows he’s made a mistake. That’s how we all learn, from makingmistakes.’

‘I’m aware of that,’ Lucy said tersely, ‘but my mistake cost me everything and I will not let that happen to Dylan, no bloody way.’

Damien looked at her for a moment, then he sat forward. ‘That’s a very extreme way to look at it. I mean, I’ve basically lived the life you say you wanted and it’s by no means perfect. I go home to an empty apartment every night. You think being a SeniorCounsel in a law firm would have given you the perfect life, but that’s not reality. Life happens, and sometimes what you thought was going to be the perfect life really isn’t, and sometimes the life you didn’t plan is actually better.’ Damien leant forward. ‘Lucy, you’re blessed to have a beautiful family, but if you over-parent Dylan you’ll suffocate him. You could lose him if you go on likethis.’

Lucy stared at Damien. How could he possibly understand the perspective of a parent? When you had children, it was your job to protect them and keep them on the right path. ‘I don’t expect you to understand, Damien, but if I have to stalk him for the next eighteen months until he leaves St Jude’s, I will do that. I will do whatever it takes. Because my children are my priority, Damien.I’m really sorry, but I won’t be able to see you for a while, probably a long while. I think we should just call it a day. It’s been great fun, but I can’t afford to have any distractions in my life right now. My focus must be one hundred per cent on the twins. I’ve taken my eye off the ball, and now Kelly is lying to me about seeing Sean, and Dylan is lying about drinking. I let my attention slipand look what happened.’ She sat back in her chair andgestured to the waiter to bring her coat. ‘I’m sorry, Damien, but my kids have to come first.’

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