Page 15 of Our Secrets and Lies

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Lucy went back to Sarah’s house and tried to phone Tom. It rang out. The answering machine must have been full. She decided to leave her bag at Sarah’s and head into college to see if she could find him. She needed to talk to him, to see what he thought of her plan B. Would he tell her she was insane? Her heart was fluttering with anxiety.

Lucy trudged around Trinity for hours. She went toall the libraries, communal spaces, coffee shops, pubs and restaurants in the area, but there was no sign of Tom. She bumped into several of his friends, but no one had seen or heard from him in days.

After hours of walking she was exhausted. She had barely slept the night before. She felt like crying. Where the hell was Tom? She needed to talk to him. She tried calling his house phone at leasttwenty times, but it rang out every time. Damn it.

She was worn out and emotionally drained. She wanted desperately to talk to Tom but she’d have to wait until she saw him at lectures on Monday morning. Could she wait that long to tell her parents, though? She’d have to hide at Sarah’s until Sunday night and pretend she was on her class trip. Or … she could go home now and just tell the truth.Lucy decided that she couldn’t spend the weekend hiding and lying. She just couldn’t do it any more. She needed to go home.

Billy looked up from his newspaper when the shop bell rang, expecting a customer. He was very surprised to see hisdaughter. ‘Did something happen? Why are you back so early?’

Lucy had held it together until then, but when she saw her father’s loving face, she put her bagon the floor, covered her face with her hands and began to sob.

Billy rushed around the counter to her. ‘What’s wrong, pet? You poor thing, what happened? Come on into the house and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.’

Billy opened the door to the kitchen and called Tina. ‘Lucy’s back, and she’s fierce upset.’ He sat her in a chair and handed her one of the big handkerchiefs he always carried inhis pocket. ‘What went wrong, love?’

Tina came in. When she saw Lucy, she stopped. Her eyes filled with tears. ‘You came back,’ she said.

Lucy nodded. Tina went over and pulled her daughter into her arms. Lucy buried her head in her mother’s shoulder and cried her eyes out. All of her worries and fears flooded out.

Billy turned around with the tea. ‘What’s going on? Jesus, Lucy, are you allright? Was it some boy? Did that Tom fella break up with you?’

Tina shushed him with a look. She rubbed Lucy’s back. ‘We’re here, love. We’re here. When you’re ready, just tell us everything.’

Tina told Billy to put a ‘Back in 30 minutes’ sign up on the shop door. By the time he returned, Lucy had finally stopped crying and was sipping her tea.

Billy sat down. ‘Would someone like to tell mewhat the hell is going on?’

Under the table, Tina held her hand and squeezed it.

‘I’m really sorry to let you both down but … I’ve got myself into a bit of trouble … I messed up … I made a stupid mistake … and –’

‘What? Jesus, spit it out before I have a heart attack,’ Billy urged her.

‘I’m pregnant.’

‘Oh, Jesus.’ Billy’s hand flew to his mouth. ‘Oh, Lucy, no.’

Lucy began to cry again whenshe saw her father’s crestfallen face.

‘It’s okay, Lucy, we’re here for you.’ Tina glared at Billy.

‘I’m so sorry, Dad. I know I’ve let you down badly.’

‘Have you considered your options?’ Tina asked her.

Lucy nodded. ‘I wasn’t going on a class trip this weekend. I was supposed to be flying to London to have an abortion, but I just couldn’t do it. I’m not saying I won’t, I’m just not sure.I mean, I guess I could defer for a year if I decided to keep the baby.’

‘Hold on.’ Billy thumped the table. ‘Where is this fellow, whatshisname – Tom? Huh? Why isn’t he here? Where does he stand in all this? He got you into this mess.’

Lucy didn’t want them to think badly of Tom, but it was tricky to try to defend him. A man like Billy, who had never let anyone push him around, would not understandhow Tom couldn’t stand up to his father. ‘Tom loves me and he said he’ll be there for me,’ she fudged.

‘What really matters,’ Tina said, ‘is what you want.’

‘I’m not sure,’ Lucy said.

‘But you can’t give up everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve.’ Billy fought back tears. ‘You’re top of the class. You’re a genius, you can’t go having a baby now. All you ever wanted was to be a lawyer andyou’re doing so well.’

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