Page 150 of Our Secrets and Lies

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‘This family is going to end up onJeremy Kyle,’ Dylan said, as he lay down on the bed next to Kelly.

She shifted a little to make room for him.

‘Everything is crazy right now,’ she agreed. ‘I could never have imagined any of this.’

Dylan rested his head against hers. ‘I’m so glad you’re here and still with me,’ he said.

‘Me too,’ Kelly whispered.

‘Can you tell me why you did it?’ heasked.

Kelly stared at a little spider on the ceiling. It hurt her heart to talk about it, to think about it. She felt like she was going to have to say sorry for the rest of her life. ‘I just felt trapped,’ she said. ‘I dreaded school every day because they were always looking for ways to humiliate me, and then when I wasn’t at school it still didn’t stop because my phone was always buzzingwith messages. The whole class hated me, Dylan. Melissa was the ringleader, but it wasn’t just her. Every post she put up got so many likes and comments. I was just a scholarship pig to them. I really tried, for Mum’s sake and yours, but then there was that video, and Sean breaking up with me …’

‘Jesus, Kelly, it must have been a nightmare,’ Dylan said. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I wasso caught up in my own stuff.’

‘That happens too,’ Kelly said. ‘I know we’re twins and all, but we can’t know everything each other is thinking. Life is going to get in the way.’

‘I don’t want it to,’ he said, which made her smile because he sounded about seven years old again.

‘I need to say sorry to you,’ Kelly said, taking his hand. ‘I hadn’t planned to do it but I thought I could stop thepain. I just wanted it all to go away.’ Kelly’s voice shook. ‘I know it was wrong and I gave everyone a terrible fright. I never meant to, honestly. I wasn’t thinking straight.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for. You were in hell,’ Dylan said.

She nodded. ‘That’s true, but my actions caused so much pain for all of you. That’s what really kills me.’

‘Everyone loves you, Kelly. They’re just sorelieved and happy that you’re safe and well. All of that is over now. We’re all looking at the future and how we can be better to each other.’

‘What about Dad?’ Kelly said.

‘You mean Tom?’

‘Yes,’ Kelly said, smiling. ‘Our father. What are you thinking now about all that? You’ve had a day to get over the shock. Where’s your head at?’

Dylan’s body tensed. ‘He’s nothing to me,’ he said. ‘I don’twant to know.’

‘Did you read the email?’ Kelly asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, didn’t that explain it? I mean, it wasn’t really his fault.’

‘He never bothered to see if Mum was okay. He just left her to deal with everything – whether she had an abortion or not,’ Dylan said. ‘He’s a selfish prick.’

‘I’d like to get to know him,’ Kelly said quietly.

‘Well, you’re a much better person than me. I don’twant or need him in my life.’

‘Liar,’ Kelly said.

Dylan’s head jerked back and he looked at her. ‘What?’

‘Liar,’ Kelly repeated. ‘I know you’ve missed having a dad as much as I have. There’s a hole in your heart where a dad is supposed to be. You don’t want to admit you need him, but you do.’

‘No way,’ Dylan said. ‘Mum did a great job and we had Billy too. Tom can sod off back to America.’

Kelly was quiet for a moment. Then she said, ‘Do you mind if I see him?’

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