Page 165 of Our Secrets and Lies

‘It’s okay, Darren.’ Tom smiledat him. ‘I hope, one day, to become part of this family, but I have to earn it. I know it’s going to take a while for everyone to get used to me being around and I have a lot to do to make up for everything. I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying and, hopefully, some day in the future, I’ll earn my children’s forgiveness.’

‘I hope you mean it,’ Billy said.

Tom turned to face him. ‘I do,Mr Murphy. I swear to you, all I want is to be a part of the twins’ lives in whatever capacity they’ll allow me. I’m going back to New York next week to sell my apartment and wrap up my work. I’m moving back to Dublin. This is where my children live and I want to be as near to them as I can be.’

‘That’s a good first step.’ Billy nodded.

‘Actually, I have some news too,’ Lucy said.

Everyonestopped talking and looked at her.

Lucy felt really nervous. ‘What I want to say is that Tom has decided to move back to Dublin and I’m glad because it’ll give the twins a chance to get to know him in their own time. It’ll be January soon, and I for one am making some serious New Year resolutions. First, Kelly, I promise never to mention the word “law” to you again. Be whoever and whatever youwant to be. Whatever you decide, I know you’ll be brilliant at what you do. Go out with Sean. He seems like a nice kid and he’s clearly mad about you. Dylan, date Taylor and go to parties and have fun and enjoy being seventeen. I would still prefer if you didn’t drink – but I’m not going topolice you. I’m going to trust you both. You have grown up to be two wonderful people and I certainly don’ttake credit for it. Everyone here has helped raise you, even Tom. You have his DNA, so he is part of who you are.

‘Dad, Jenny, Sarah, Darren, Shannon and Ollie, you have all been an integral part of the twins’ lives. I don’t thank you enough and I haven’t properly acknowledged the huge part you’ve played in my children’s lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The twins turned out so wellin large part because of you guys. You have stood by me through thick and thin, held me up on bad days, made me laugh on sad days, and supported me and the twins every step of the way. Most of all, in the last week you’ve been my rocks.

‘Dylan and Kelly, I’m lucky to be your mum. I’m truly sorry for all the mistakes I’ve made. I promise you that I’m going to learn from them and be a better motherand person. I’m going to step back and let you fly.

‘I’ve also decided to stop bemoaning the past and do something about it. I’m going back to college to finish my law degree. I may do nothing with it, I may fail, I may come bottom of the class, but I’m going to try to finish what I started.

‘My mum always said, “Family is love and love is family,” and if the last week has taught me anything,it’s that that statement is so true.

‘Kelly, I owe you such a huge apology. I’ll never forgive myself for pushing you to go to St Jude’s. I’ll try to make it up to you. Please go and live your best life and be who you’re supposed to be, not who I once thought you should be. I’ll cheer you from the sideline, willing you on, wishing you happiness and success, but never, ever pushing you.

‘I’dlike to make a toast to my beautiful twins, loves of my life, who have taught me that love is not keeping your childrenclose, it’s allowing them to spread their wings. Just promise me you’ll come back and visit me!’

They raised their glasses and clinked.

Kelly whispered in Lucy’s ear, ‘I love you, Mum, and I forgive you a thousand times over. Please forgive me for giving you such a fright.’

Lucy hugged her fragile daughter to her chest. ‘I have nothing to forgive. You are perfect, Kelly Murphy, and don’t ever forget it.’

‘So, like, are we going to eat the flaming pudding or what?’ Shannon asked.

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