Page 2 of Our Secrets and Lies

‘No one needs to know,’ Sarah said quietly. ‘Only you, me and Tom.’

‘What ifI don’t tell Tom?’ Lucy said.

Sarah looked at her in confusion. ‘What?’

Lucy sat up straight. ‘What if I don’t tell him? I’ll just go to London, have an abortion, come back and forget the whole thing happened.’

Sarah’s mouth hung open. ‘Are you mental? You can’t just have an abortion and pretend it never happened. It’s not likereturning a jacket you don’t like. It’s a big deal, Lucy. You needsupport. It’s painful and serious and … and emotional and all that.’

‘But it’s the perfect solution. I won’t lose Tom, my parents won’t be upset and I’ll just get on with my degree and my life.’ Lucy was sure that was the correct plan of action. This way, she’d get to keep everything and everyone and no one would get hurt. Okay, she would, but she was strong, she’d deal with it.

‘Lucy?’ Sarahshook her gently by the shoulders. ‘Stop it. This is madness. Tom needs to know. If you don’t tell him, you’ll have this huge secret between you and it’ll cause problems. Besides, he’ll know something’s wrong. Darren always knows when I’ve got something on my mind and vice versa. You have to tell him.’

‘But if I’m getting rid of it, why does he need to know?’

‘Because it’s his baby.’

‘Don’tcall it that. It’s not a baby, just a cluster of cells.’

Sarah glared at her. ‘Jesus, Lucy.’

Lucy stuck her chin out defiantly. ‘Well, it’s true.’

Sarah shook her head. ‘It’s not right to keep Tom in the dark.’

‘If this stupid country wasn’t so bloody backward, I could have it done here in Dublin tomorrow and not have to travel over to England on my own.’

Sarah took her hand and squeezedit. ‘I’ll go with you, but it should be Tom and you know it.’

‘Would you, really?’ Lucy said.

‘Of course.’

‘Thanks. I’d be a complete mess without you, Sarah. Now I just need to figure out how to organize and pay for it.’

Over the next two weeks Lucy contacted abortion clinics in Liverpool because the flights there were much cheaper thanto London. She reckoned she was about six weeks pregnant,so she wanted to get on with it.

She refused to allow any doubts to cloud her mind, and when she woke up with tears on her face and a wet pillow every morning, she ignored it. There was only one solution and this was it.

Sarah remained quiet whenever Lucy brought up the subject, so she kept the information flow to a minimum.

She’d tried to avoid Tom because she found being with him really difficult.After the second week of telling him she was too busy to see him, he chased after her as she tried to scurry away after a tutorial. He caught up with her in Front Square and grabbed her shoulder. ‘Hey, what the hell is going on? I’ve barely seen you in the last couple of weeks. Why are you avoiding me? Are you annoyed with me? And don’t say you’re busy because you never used to be too busyto see me.’

Lucy couldn’t look into those eyes. ‘I’m sorry. Of course I want to see you. I’m just … busy.’

‘Doing what?’ Tom demanded.

‘Studying and helping my parents out in the shop and stuff.’

‘So everything between us is okay?’

‘Yes, totally.’

‘Well, can you come back to my rooms now? Killian’s out so we can catch up properly.’ Tom leaned in to kiss her. Lucy reared back. ‘What the hell?’he said, sounding hurt.

‘Sorry – I’m so sorry, I just … I have to go.’

She turned to walk away but he clutched her arm. ‘No way. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on. Have you met another guy? Are you cheating on me?’

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