Page 35 of Our Secrets and Lies

‘Well, why didn’t you make me something I actually like?’

‘Stop it, Kelly. You do like scrambled eggs. Don’t be difficult.’

‘No, I don’t. You make them for Saint Dylan because he loves them and occasionally when I’m so hungry I think I’m going to die I eat some just to keep me alive.’

Lucy didn’twant an argument, not today, on their first day at their new school. ‘Fine, have cereal, then.’

Kelly grabbed a box, filled a bowl to the top, poured in some milk and began to eat. She was hunched over it with one arm protectively around the bowl as if she was afraid someone was going to steal it. She was like a cat, always ready to pounce, Lucy thought.

Kelly tugged at her tie, then spilt milkon it.

‘Kelly, love, be careful, you don’t want to look a mess on your first day.’

‘What? It’s just a bit of milk, no big deal.’ She wiped it with a napkin.

Lucy felt her shoulders tense. Why couldn’t Kelly just behave? Why did she have to cause trouble on this special day? ‘It is a big deal,’ Lucy said. ‘It’s your first day at St Jude’s. This is an incredible opportunity for you and you needto make a good impression.’

Kelly slammed her napkin down and spun around to face her mother. ‘Oh, I know, Mum. I have to be the perfect student in this stupid posh school that you’re forcing me to go to.’

‘Forcing you?’ Lucy spluttered. ‘Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Because of your brilliant brother, you are now going to the best school in Dublin for free.’

‘Lucky?’ Kelly shouted.‘I never wanted to go there. I was happy in my old school. I don’t want to be a charity-casescholarship student just because my twin brother’s brilliant at football.’

‘Ah, now, come on. We’re all a bit uptight because it’s a big day. Let’s calm down,’ Billy suggested. ‘Kelly, finish up your breakfast and, Lucy, you have some coffee.’ Billy poured her a cup.

‘Relax, Kelly,’ Dylan said, lookingat her with concern. ‘It’s all good.’

Kelly bent her head low and finished her cereal. She said nothing, but Lucy could feel her daughter’s rage. She prayed Kelly would try her best and not let herself or Dylan down. She had to behave and do well. She had to show everyone how great she was and how smart. Lucy wanted everyone in that stuck-up school to see how wonderful her kids were and whata bloody great job she’d done bringing them up on her own. She wanted Gabriel to hear about the Murphy twins and what a credit they were to St Jude’s, and she wanted to be there when he realized they were his grandchildren and that Lucy, the gold-digging whore, had done it – she’d raised two incredible children.

Lucy went up to her bedroom and took her best navy jacket from the hanger. She putit on over her navy shift dress, the one she wore to celebrate a lot of her humanist ceremonies. She looked in the mirror on the back of the door. The outfit was a bit boring and conservative, but she wanted to blend into the background.

She was a bit nervous about meeting the other parents. What if one of them recognized her? What if she bumped into one of Tom’s old friends, like Andy or Olivia?She’d changed her hair – it was honey-coloured and short now, ‘gamine style’, Sarah had said when she’d cut it. It had been seventeen years but, still, they might recognize her and she wasn’t sure how she’d handle it.

Dylan knocked gently on the door and came in. He had his navy school blazer on and looked so handsome. He was born to go to a school like St Jude’s. He’d fit in, no problem. Billywas right: they were lucky to have him.

‘Ready, Mum?’ he asked.

‘Yes. You okay?’

He smiled. ‘Keen to get in there and meet the other football players and classmates and all that.’

‘Right, well, let’s go, then.’

‘You look lovely, Mum,’ he said. ‘A bit square, but nice.’

Lucy beamed at him. ‘Where’s your sister?’

‘Here.’ Kelly slouched outside the door, her school skirt rolled up and hertie askew. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, the way she liked it. Lucy wanted to pull down her daughter’s skirt and brush her hair, but she resisted. They didn’t have time for an argument now.

In the twenty-five minutes it took to drive to school, Lucy and Kelly had two arguments. They never stopped sniping at each other.

Dylan felt bad for Kelly. He knew she loved her old school and herfriends and that she wasn’t thrilled about going to St Jude’s. But it was the best school in the country and it was making their mum so happy. He wished she’d go with it. He wanted his twin to settle in and enjoy St Jude’s. She was so smart, he knew that even in this posh school Kelly would be top of the class. Dylan was always amazed at how hard she studied. He was middle of the class. He did enoughto keep his mother off his case but never exactly killed himself. Besides, his mother didn’t seem to expect too much of him in terms of study and books – that was Kelly’s role. He was sport, Kelly was law: that was how it had always been.

Dylan was psyched about the new coach at St Jude’s, Jordan Green, who was top class. They’d poached him fromPlymouth Argyle – an actual professional club.All right, it was a second-division club and he’d been the assistant coach but, still, he was the real deal. Dylan couldn’t wait to train under him.

It was Jordan who had come to see Dylan play for his old club and approached his mum about a scholarship. The best part about winning it was that Dylan could see he was making his mum happy. She was obsessed with education and getting a degree. Shekept telling him and Kelly, ‘Don’t end up like me. Finish your degree and get a proper profession.’

Dylan knew she’d had to give it all up for him and Kelly, then to nurse Granny when she was sick and afterwards to look after Granddad and the shop. His mum had never really been able to do what she wanted. Dylan had always felt he had to succeed. With his dad legging it before they were even born,he felt the pressure to make up for that somehow. He wanted to prove to his mum that she had raised a decent son, not someone who would run away from his responsibilities. He had always wanted to make her happy and proud and make up for his deadbeat dad.

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