‘Finally,’ Lucy said, ‘once you’ve said your vows, Kerrie’s niece is going to sing “My Baby Just Cares For Me”.’
‘And she can actually sing. She has a gorgeous voice.’ Kerriesmirked.
‘Glad to hear it.’ Lucy chuckled. ‘Then I’ll invite you two to blow out the individual candles you lit earlier and light the big one together. And then I’ll let you kiss the bride and you’ll be married.’
Kerrie grabbed Debbie’s hand. ‘Oh, God, I’m nervous, but I can’t wait.’
‘Now for the big question,’ Lucy said. ‘This is the most important thing I’ll ask you today. Did you bring themarriage certificate I asked for one thousand times?’
‘I nearly went mad you asked so often,’ Debbie said, ‘but, yes, I did bring it.’
She went over to her handbag and riffled through it. They all watched her. She continued searching. Lucy felt her heart skip a beat. Please, please, don’t have forgotten it, she thought. This had happened before, and she’d been unableto marry the couple thatday. The rule was unbreakable: she had to view the certificate before the ceremony, and all three of them had to sign it. Without that, there was no wedding.
‘Debbie?’ she said. ‘Do you have it?’
‘Oh, Christ, I definitely put it in,’ Debbie said, her voice rising in panic. ‘Jesus, where is it?’
‘I thought you weren’t allowed to ask Him for help,’ Jenny said.
Lucy stifled a grin. ‘It’s okay,take a deep breath. It might be looking at you and you’re not seeing it.’
Kerrie went over to help. They emptied the contents of the bag onto the table. No certificate.
‘Oh, no!’ Debbie said, a sob catching in her throat.
Kerrie hugged her. ‘Don’t worry, love. We’ll find it.’
‘But I put it in,’ Debbie said. ‘I’m sure of it.’
‘Check the floor,’ Jenny said, jumping into action. ‘It might havefallen out.’
Darren walked into the room as they were all searching, Lucy and Jenny on all fours.
‘Eh, what’s going on?’ he said.
‘Missing marriage certificate,’ Lucy said, as she crawled behind the cabinet. ‘Can’t do the ceremony without it.’
‘Oh, no,’ Darren said. ‘Does the groom have it maybe?’
All four women looked up at him.
‘Typical,’ Jenny said. ‘Always thinking a man will save theday.’
‘Or maybe the best man?’ Darren tried.
Debbie stood up. ‘Hi, I’m the bride, and this is my wife-to-be.’
Darren looked so astonished that Lucy couldn’t help laughing. ‘It’s a gay humanist wedding, Darren,’ she said. ‘This is Debbie and Kerrie.’
‘Oh, right, yeah,’ Darren said, trying to recover himself. ‘Of course. Cool, yeah. Happy … em … wedding day, you two. Can I help?’
‘We need tofind a piece of paper that says these two have been to the registry office and done the deed,’ Jenny said. ‘So quit yapping and gawking and start searching.’
They searched every corner of the room, but there was no piece of paper. By now, both brides were near tears, and Jenny was pressing tissues to their eyes to stop their make-up running.
‘Wait,’ Lucy said. ‘Debbie, sit down here for a second.Now, close your eyes, deep breath. Picture yourself with the certificate this morning. It was a busy morning, you were upset about the venue, lots of stuff on your mind. Now try to clear your mind and see yourself with the certificate. Where are you?’
Debbie sat still, eyes squeezed shut, brow furrowed in concentration.