Page 90 of Our Secrets and Lies

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Sarah handed Mrs Kinavan her credit card and showed her to the door, then locked it, and went into the back room to get a cup of coffee.

She put her phone on silent, sat on the couch and took her laptop out of her bag. She needed full concentration for this. She opened her emails. Tom had sent several, begging for information about the twins. He’d been deeply shocked to find out he had twochildren. He’d explained how sorry he was and how much he regretted his decision to leave all those years ago. He said he hadn’t been able to sleep since her message telling him he had twins.

Please, Sarah, I am begging you to tell me about Dylan and Kelly. Tell me what they’re like. Are they happy? What are their interests? Please, tell me about my children. When Susie, my ex-wife, and I weren’table to have any, I thought it was God’s way of cursing me because I’d got rid of the baby with Lucy. I felt so completely alone in the world after my divorce, but now I know that I have two children, I feel as if I’ve been given a second chance. I can’t sleep or concentrate in work. I’m so excited and shocked, and also really angry that my father deprived me of knowing my children. I will never,ever forgive him for this. We barely speak any more anyway but this is a betrayal I can never forgive.

I hate myself for what I did, running away like a coward. I allowed my father to bully me and I’ve regretted it every day. But now I have these children, two amazing human beings. Iunderstand it’s too soon to get in touch with Lucy, but please, Sarah, tell me about my children. I’m desperateto know more – nothing is too little or insignificant, any scrap of news will do. I’ve missed so much of their lives, it’s killing me.

Sarah could feel his pain and guilt jumping off the screen. She knew what he had done was truly awful, but he certainly seemed to be paying for it. While Lucy at least had had the joy of watching her kids grow up into wonderful people, Tom was alone in New Yorkwith nothing in his life except work. It all sounded so empty and hollow. Sarah wanted to reach into the computer and hug him.

He had done a terrible thing, running away like that, but should he spend the rest of his life suffering for it?

Sarah remembered Lucy sitting on the floor in her bedroom crying her eyes out, heartbroken, crushed and devastated. Sarah had genuinely thought she was goingto have a nervous breakdown – she was utterly destroyed by Tom and his dad. But somehow her friend had dug deep, picked herself up and raised her kids. Sarah was so proud of her, and she’d hated Tom for hurting Lucy so much. But now it was different. He hadn’t known about his children, so his running away had been cowardly but not cruel. And he was paying dearly for having missed out on his children’slives.

Still, Sarah had been afraid to write back. She never should have answered the first message but, then, he was their dad, he wanted to know them, and he had a right to. He’d been lied to. His children had been a secret kept from him for seventeen years. Sarah’s head throbbed. Had she done the right thing? Darren said she had, and in her heart, she knew that no father should be lied to,as Gabriel had lied to Tom.

She sat down and began to write.

Hi Tom, I understand you want to know about the twins so I’ll do my best to fill you in. Dylan is a tall, handsome fellow. Everyone likes him. He’s easy-going and good-humoured. He’s also a football star. He’s been playing since Billy (Lucy’s father) took him to the local club aged about six. He’s incredible, a striker. Kelly is brightand smart like Lucy. She’s an A student, always trying to please her mum and make her proud. She’s best friends with my daughter, Shannon. Kelly is a lovely, kind, thoughtful girl. I’m absolutely mad about her. As you saw from the photo on Facebook, Dylan looks like Lucy and Kelly is like you, Lucy has devoted herself to raising them and has done an incredible job. Her mum got sick after shehad the twins and she nursed her until her dying day. She never got the chance to go back to college and finish her law degree and I know that really hurts. She never got to have the life she wanted because you ran away and left her. I’m sorry, Tom, but that’s the truth. If you had stayed and been a man, her life would be different. I’m not sure she will ever forgive you.

This year, in a weirdtwist of fate, Dylan got a football scholarship to St Jude’s, which Lucy said is your old school. They gave one to Kelly too. So the twins are now at St Jude’s and are doing well. Dylan is shining on the football team and Kelly is still trying to find her feet. It hasn’t been easy for her, she was happy in her old school, but Lucy felt it was a great opportunity for them both to finish their lasttwo years in a good school.

So there you have it, a brief summary of the twins. I’m sorry you never knew they existed. I can’t imagine how angry and upset you are, but you have only your father to blame for that. I have to go now. Take care,

Sarah

PS I’ve attached some photos for you as I know you really wanted some.

Sarah logged out and had just lifted her coffee to her lips when she hearda loud banging on the shutters. She put down her cup, hid the laptop in her bag and went through the salon to see who it was.

She lifted the shutter, and Shannon stood there, in her school uniform, out of breath.

‘Any chance you could answer your bloody phone? I’ve called you a zillion times.’

‘Sorry, I had it on silent. What’s up?’

‘That freak of a son of yours has only bloody cut the topof his finger off.’

‘What?’ she gasped. ‘Is he all right?’

‘He’s fine. Dad said not to panic. He was with Billy in the shed when it happened. Billy called over but saw the salon was shut and no one was at home, so he took Ollie straight to the hospital.’

Sarah ran to get her bag and find her car keys. She unlocked the door, went outside, locked up and yanked the shutter down. She grabbed herdaughter’s arm. ‘Come on, hurry.’

Shannon pulled back. ‘Why do I have to go? He’s fine, and I said I’d go to Kelly’s after school.’

Sarah glared at her. ‘You’re coming to the hospital to see if your brother’s all right.’

‘He’ll be grand, like he always is. He’s just mental.’

Sarah ran ahead of Shannon through the emergency doors and bumped into Darren, who was waiting for her.

‘It’s okay.’He hugged her. ‘He’s fine. Billy put the fingertip in a bag of frozen peas so they can sew it back on. He’ll be taken down to surgery soon.’

Sarah needed to see her son. She went into his room. He was lying on a bed looking small and pale. ‘Hiya, Mum.’ He waved with his good hand.

Sarah threw her arms around him. ‘You mad eejit, what the hell were you thinking?’

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