Page 45 of Seven Letters

Angela smiled, her eyes shiny with tears. ‘Your mummy is very clever. Will you follow me and I’ll bring you down to see her?’

‘Yes, please. Come on, Daddy, let’s go.’ Izzy pulled Adam’s hand.

They all followed Angela except Olivia, who discreetly stayed behind.

‘Johnny, I’m scared for Izzy to see her mum like this,’ Mia whispered. He squeezed her hand.

‘She needs to see her. She won’t stop asking until she does,’ Charlie said quietly.

‘I’m sure you’re right, Dad. It’s just …’

Charlie nodded. ‘I know.’

Outside Sarah’s room, Izzy paused. She took off her glasses and began to wipe them furiously with her jumper.

Adam crouched down and reminded Izzy that Sarah had a lot of tubes around her and a big one in her mouth to help her breathe.

‘I know. You explained it already a trillion times.’

‘Izzy,’ Angela said, kindly but firmly, ‘if you want to wait until later or another day, that’s fine. You don’t have to see your mummy right now. You can see her anytime.’

Izzy put her glasses back on. ‘I need to see her. I’ll be able to wake her up. Wait and see.’

Mia covered her mouth with a hand to stifle a sob. Charlie was praying quietly, and Johnny was holding his breath.

She looked so small and vulnerable walking into the room. Adam’s eyes were frightened. Johnny reached over and patted him on the back. ‘It’ll be OK. We’re here for you.’

Adam and Izzy walked into the room with just the sounds of machines whirring and clunking. Izzy hesitated at the door. ‘There are so many things on Mummy,’ she whispered.

‘It’s OK, Sweet-pea.’ Adam took her hand and brought her to the side of the bed.

Gingerly, Izzy leaned over and touched her mother’s face. She kissed her cheek. ‘I’m here, Mummy. I came to wake you up. I miss you. I want you to come back now. Look, I did you a picture. Do you like it, Mummy? Mummy? Open your eyes so you can see.

‘I know you’re tired Mummy, but if you wake up and come home, I’ll help you more. I’ll be the best girl in the world. I know the baby is making you tired. I’ll tidy up and do anything else you need me to do. I love you, Mummy. I want to snuggle up and watch TV and make cookies and sing songs with you. And we have to finish organizing my Communion party. Remember you said I could choose my cake and we were going to go to the special cake shop to get a fancy one made? But it’s only two weeks away, so please wake up. I need you, Mummy.’

Izzy shook Sarah’s arm gently. She squeezed her hand. ‘Mummy? Can you hear me? I’ll sing you a song. It’s our song, Mummy.’ Izzy’s voice shook as she sang ‘Let It Go’.

Outside in the corridor, Mia and Charlie wept to hear her sweet voice singing and pleading with her mother to wake up. Johnny put his arms around both of them. He was struggling to hold it together himself. Come on, Sarah, wake up for her, do it for Izzy, he willed his sister-in-law.

‘Mummy, come on, sing. Mummy, please. It’s me, it’s Izzy, Mummy. It’s your best girl. Mummy?’

Adam reached out and put his arms around her. Izzy wailed into his shirt. ‘Why won’t she wake up, Daddy?’

‘She’s just sick, Izzy, and she might not wake up for a while.’

‘But why? Is the baby making her sick?’

‘No, but she needs to concentrate on him. She … Well, she needs to give him all of her energy.’

Izzy frowned. ‘Why? Suzie’s mummy has a baby in her tummy and she’s awake and walking around.’

‘Yes, but Mummy was unlucky. She got sick and now she’s trying to keep the baby well.’

Izzy pushed Adam away. ‘I hate the baby. Ihatehim,’ she shouted. ‘Before he came Mummy was happy. But then he came in her tummy and she got bad headaches and was tired and now she’s asleep and won’t wake up. I want my mummy back!’

Adam picked up his furious, confused, distraught child and held her tight. ‘It’s OK, Izzy, I’m here. Daddy’s here.’

Izzy bawled into his shoulder. He snuggled her to his chest, felt soothed to have her close to him. The kiss of her exhale on his neck was like a salve to his shattered heart. This was his world – Izzy, Sarah, and now the baby. If only Sarah could just open her eyes and this whole nightmare disappear …

---