Page 76 of Seven Letters

‘Dad, you’re in the horrors of Hell. If you want a coffee, drink a bloody coffee.’

‘I do when she’s not around, but she likes to fuss, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Besides, it’s nice to have someone caring for me, especially now.’ Charlie looked down at his dry cracker.

Mia rubbed his back. ‘I know, Dad. I’m glad you have Olivia.’ He was right: it was lovely to have someone care for you. Johnny had got up early that morning and made Mia porridge with cinnamon, just the way she liked it.

‘Well, try to be nicer to her,’ Charlie said pointedly. ‘Sarah always was. But sure she was nice to everyone.’

Yes, she was, Mia thought, but she didn’t have the pressures I have. Why didn’t her father ever acknowledge that Mia was doing a good job keeping things going, trying to save them from losing the house, juggling work and motherhood, trying to prevent Johnny from spiralling into depression and think of ways to get him a job? It was always ‘Sarah’s so nice.’ Well, Mia was nice too, maybe not as nice as her sister but she had more shit to deal with. Charlie never, ever acknowledged that or praised her, and it hurt. Right now, it really bloody hurt. Sarah was dead, and only Mia andCharlie were left. Mia needed her dad. She needed him to be kind to her and supportive, not critical and judgemental.

Mia felt tears pricking her eyes. She wanted to shake him. ‘I’m all the family you’ve got left, Dad!’ she wanted to shout. ‘Let’s be nice to each other.’ Instead, she said nothing and pushed down the hurt she felt with the last gulp of her coffee.

‘That was Robert.’ Olivia came back in, beaming. ‘He’s just finished working on the Kerrigan tribunal. The newspapers were full of praise for him. But he’s never had anything other than praise. He has such a brilliant mind. Honestly, people say he got it from me, but I don’t know about that. He’s such a wonderful son, always checking in with me. He was asking for you too, Charlie. He sends his best wishes.’

Mia tried not to stare, or laugh, at the big black seed stuck between Olivia’s front teeth.

Adam came rushing through the door with Rob. ‘Thank God! I thought I was late for the meeting with the medical team.’

‘No, it’s on at ten, another five minutes to go. Johnny’s on his way too,’ Mia said.

Adam fell into a chair. ‘Izzy was acting up again this morning so we were late for school. Poor little thing, she’s so upset.’

‘She never stops asking about her mum – it’d break your heart,’ Rob said.

Johnny walked in. ‘Bloody bus was delayed,’ he muttered, and sat down beside Mia.

‘I don’t know what to tell Izzy about Sarah. Should I tell her Sarah’s never going to wake up?’ Adam asked. ‘Rob thinks I should start dropping hints.’

‘In my humble opinion, honesty is always the best policy,’ Olivia said.

‘I agree with Rob,’ Mia said. She had always liked Rob – hewas like a toned-down version of Adam. Less driven, softer. Mia had only got to know him a little at Sarah and Adam’s wedding, then the odd time when he was home for Christmas or a week’s holidays. Sarah had loved him. They’d hit it off from the minute they’d met.

Looking at Rob’s fresh face, made Mia realize how much they’d all aged since Sarah’s collapse. They were a haggard bunch, worn down by emotion and sleepless nights.

‘Maybe start planting the idea gently, like mentioning she may not get better and things may get worse, just to try to prepare her,’ Mia suggested.

‘How can he tell Izzy that her mother’s dead when she’s in there being kept alive with a baby inside her?’ Charlie pointed out. ‘How can a little child get her head around that when I still can’t?’

Olivia rushed over to him. ‘Now, now, Charlie, calm yourself. You mustn’t get upset. It’s bad for your heart.’

His heart’s broken, Mia wanted to say, but she held her tongue.

The door opened, and Angela came in. ‘If you’re ready, I’ll take you upstairs.’

Charlie, Adam, Rob, Johnny and Mia followed her. Olivia stood up and kissed Charlie. ‘I’ll be here, waiting for you,’ she said. ‘Good luck.’

Angela brought them back to the same conference room on the fifth floor where they’d been told that Sarah would never recover. Mia hated it. She stood beside Rob, getting a coffee from the percolator in the corner of the room. The medical team filed in, led by Dr Mayhew. There were six of them, which immediately made Mia nervous. She hadn’t met some of them before.

‘What do you think this is about?’ Rob whispered.

‘I don’t know, but I doubt it’s good.’

Rob swore softly. ‘I don’t think Adam can take any more bad news. I’m worried he’s going to have a breakdown.’

Mia put her hand on his arm. ‘I think we all are, Rob. We just have to pull together.’

Dr Mayhew, Ms Johnston and Professor Irwin sat down. Mia and the others took the chairs opposite them.

‘Good morning,’ Dr Mayhew said. ‘I’ll start by introducing my colleagues whom you haven’t been introduced to yet. They are helping us monitor Sarah’s case and providing assistance to the key workers. This is Peter Long, consultant obstetrician, Karen Harrington, anaesthetist, and Kevin Strong, who heads up our neonatal paediatric team.’

---