Page 81 of Seven Letters

‘Go, Mum,’ Riley muttered.

Olivia looked affronted. ‘There’s no need to be so aggressive, Mia. I was only trying to help your father.’

‘You’re not helping anyone,’ Mia growled.

‘Let’s all calm down and take a moment,’ Johnny said calmly, squeezing Mia’s leg a bit tighter. ‘Everyone had a terrible shock this morning.’

‘I know, Johnny, but a degree of civility from Mia wouldn’t go amiss.’

Mia was tempted to reach across the table, punch Olivia’s annoying face and shout, ‘Howdya like that for civility?’

It wasn’t really Olivia’s fault, but Mia wanted to hit someone. She wanted to scream at someone. She wanted to blame someone. But who? There was no one to blame. It was just a hideous twist of Fate. Brain damage. Such little words for such a life-altering, life-shattering thing. Mia thought of all the vile people who lived in the world – wife-beaters, rapists, bigots – and yet it was her lovely sister, who’d never hurt a fly, who was ripped from it.

Adam and Rob sat down at the table. While Rob poured glasses of water and mugs of tea, Adam talked. ‘I asked you here to discuss the plan going forward.’

‘The only plan is to bury my daughter with the scrap of dignity she has left,’ Charlie said, his voice shaking with anger and grief.

Mia wanted to reach over and take his hands in hers, but Olivia got there first.

‘A nice, dignified funeral where you can all say goodbye,’ Olivia added.

‘You all deserve the chance to bury her in peace,’ Johnny agreed.

‘It’s time to let her go,’ Mia said, looking at Adam.

Adam slammed his fists down on the table. The mugs jumped. When he spoke, he sounded like he was barely controlling a white-hot rage.

‘The reason I asked you to come here is because I know that’s what you’re thinking. But I’m telling you that this is just a bump in the road. My child is still alive. I know Sarah looks … looks not like herself but our baby is alive. He hasn’t been affected.’

‘We don’t know that,’ Mia said. ‘The doctors said they think the babyisbeing adversely affected by the infection,the excess fluid and all the drugs they’re pumping into Sarah to keep her body alive. And there’ll only be more and more drugs as this goes on. That’s what I understood from this morning.’

Adam glared at her. ‘They don’t know for sure. They have no concrete knowledge, and while there is still a heartbeat and even the tiniest chance, I am not letting go.’

Charlie sat forward and looked straight at his son-in-law. ‘Please, Adam, I know what losing your wife is like. I know admitting it’s over is the worst pain, but there is no way you can let this go on. It’s inhumane. That is no longer my daughter in that bed. We’ve let this go on for far too long. It’s unbearable to see her deteriorate like this. It’s wrong. My poor little girl. She needs to be at peace. She needs this to be over. Let her go.’

Adam shook his head. ‘No, Charlie, I won’t. Our baby is still alive.’

Charlie’s face contorted with anger. ‘What child can survive in a dead body?’ he shouted. ‘There is no hope. Stop this madness, Adam.’

Rob spoke up. His voice was quiet and measured. ‘There is a lot of emotion here, and the situation is beyond awful, but Adam is Sarah’s next-of-kin and that is his baby. And his baby has a heartbeat. Regardless of what we think, if he feels he wants to continue to give the baby a chance, we have to support him.’

Adam clenched his jaw. ‘Exactly.’

Mia could see Adam was angry and defensive. She needed to approach this very gently. She took a deep breath. ‘Look, Adam, I understand why you want to cling to hope. I know how much you and Sarah wanted this baby. I know how happy you were at the idea of having a son. Adam, I’m absolutely heartbroken, lost without her, but I’m having to acceptthe future as it’s now going to be, and I really feel you have to do the same. The baby is absolutely tiny, so it really can’t survive another seven or eight weeks. Even if it did by some miracle, it would probably die within days of being delivered, because very few babies born at twenty-four weeks survive. Look how much Sarah has deteriorated already. It’s going to get worse day by day. The baby has no real chance. By dragging it out, you’re only prolonging the agony. If I thought there was a screed of a chance the baby would survive, I’d back you, Adam. But I can’t. Her deterioration has been so dramatic. It’s horrific.’ Mia paused to wipe away her tears. ‘I know how hard this is for you, I really do, but you must face the facts, Adam. They’re gone. Sarah and the baby are gone.’

Adam’s eyes flashed. ‘I will not quit on my baby or Sarah. Ever. Do you understand? None of you knows how much this baby meant to us, and especially to Sarah. After the second miscarriage, I wanted to give up trying but she insisted we keep going, and she was proven right. Don’t you see? This baby was meant to be. We tried so hard to bring him into the world. I will not give up on him. None of you knows how much I loved her. I will fight on for her and for the baby.’

Charlie pulled out his handkerchief and wiped the tears running down his face. ‘Of course we know how much you loved her, and we know how hard she tried to get pregnant. She was my daughter, and I loved her too. We’re all broken here, son. But this is turning into a horror show, like Mia said. Do you think Sarah would want to end her life as a bloated corpse, infecting her own child?’ Emotion overtook him and he whimpered and stared at the ceiling. His pain was evident on his face. ‘She’s gone. We’ve lost her, and the baby can’t survive in there. We all have to be brave and compassionate and let Sarah go with the scrap of dignity she has left.’

Mia’s heart ached for her father. ‘Dad’s right, Adam. We can’t let Sarah deteriorate any further. We have to help her. We have to be her voice.’

Adam glared at Mia with such hatred, she gasped. He didn’t even look like the Adam she knew any more. Grief and stress had transformed him.

‘What happened toI’m here for you, Adam.We’re behind you, Adam? Where’s your loyalty now? I’m the only one who has the balls to make the hard decisions. It’s my responsibility and I’m stepping up to it. So, just to be clear, no one is to mention letting Sarah go or switching off the machines or giving up. I don’t want to hear those words. I am choosing hope.’

‘I am here for you,’ Mia said, desperately trying to get through to him. ‘We all are. We’ve been doing everything we can to support you and Izzy. But you can’t fight death. It’s like fighting the tide, Adam. It’s inevitable,’ she pleaded with him.

‘I will not be dictated to by you, Mia. I will decide. Me and only me.’ He tapped his chest.

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