Page 82 of Seven Letters

‘For the love of God, make it stop,’ Charlie shouted.

‘NO!’ Adam roared. ‘I am her next-of-kin, not you, and I say she stays alive for as long as possible to save the baby. Do you understand? Is that clear?’

‘Adam, the baby isn’t going to make it,’ Johnny said.

‘What the fuck would you know?’ Adam yelled. ‘You can’t even hold down a job.’

‘How dare you –’ Mia pulled Riley to her and shushed her.

Johnny blanched, but kept his voice calm and strong. ‘I’ve done a lot of research into it, read everything I can get my hands on. I did that because I wanted to find an answer that would let the baby be born, Adam, but every single article and expert opinion says that the foetus is simply too young to survive. If Sarah was twenty-four weeks pregnant, we’d behaving a very different conversation. But none of us can change the fact that she’s only fifteen weeks.’

Adam turned on Johnny. ‘What are you now, some kind of investigative journalist? A big medical expert? You googled a few things and you think you can tell me whether my child is viable or not? Do not come into my house and tell me what to do about my wife and my child.’ Adam was spitting with fury.

Mia felt anger rise inside her. Johnny had been such a rock throughout all this. ‘May I remind you, Adam, that Johnny has been looking after your daughter non-stop – cooking her meals, baking with her, picking her up from school, keeping her entertained and engaged and happy? Don’t sit there all high and mighty and dictate to us. Sarah is my sister, she is Dad’s daughter, she is the centre of our world. We should have a say in how she is treated.’

Adam stood up. ‘Out. All of you. Get out of my house.’ He punched his chest. ‘I decide what happens tomywife andmychild. I will not have you second-guessing me and ordering me about. I am her husband. I am the father of that baby and I will make the decisions. I don’t want you interfering. Stay away from the hospital. Stay away from Sarah.’

Mia was stunned. Was he actually ordering them to stay away from their own flesh and blood? ‘What? You can’t make a rule like that. We’ll bloody well see Sarah when we want to. You can’t stop Dad seeing his daughter.’

Adam stood at the kitchen door, holding it open. ‘Charlie doesn’t want to see Sarah. He said himself he can’t take it. So stay the hell away. I don’t want you coming in and trying to guilt me into changing my mind. I don’t want any of you telling me that I’m doing the wrong thing, that it’s cruel and inhumane … I’m sick of it. I have too much to deal with, without you all wrecking my head with your opinions. I needpeace. I need space. I need to be with my wife and baby. I will decide what happens and I don’t want any of you near me or Sarah.’

Mia went over and stood in front of him. ‘You’re being ridiculous and you need to calm down. None of us are dictating to you. None of us are forcing you to do anything, but we are all Sarah’s family and we care about her and we are allowed to have an opinion. You can’t shut Dad off from seeing his daughter.’

Adam poked Mia in the chest with his finger. ‘You’re a control freak. A total dictator. You want to turn off the ventilator, and I know that as soon as my back is turned, you’ll tell the doctors to do it. You always have to control everything. Sarah hated that, by the way. She said you suffocated her. You suffocate everyone – Johnny, Riley, everyone. Why don’t you sort out your own life and leave me to sort out mine?’

Mia felt winded. She gasped for air.

Johnny strode over and put an arm around his wife, more to hold her up than to comfort her. ‘That’s enough, Adam. I’m going to give you some leeway because you’re sleep-deprived and grieving, but I will not stay here and have you insult Mia, who was the best sister Sarah could have wished for and is a brilliant aunt to Izzy.’

Johnny marched Mia towards the front door. Riley jumped up and followed them.

‘Get a grip on yourself,’ Charlie said, to his son-in-law. ‘Open your eyes and look at your wife. Look at what you’re doing to her.’

‘Let’s not fall out over this,’ Rob pleaded. ‘Let’s all get a night’s rest and in the morning –’

Ignoring his brother’s efforts to broker some calm, Adam shouted, ‘I want you all out. Now. I don’t need you. I’ll deal with this myself, in my own way. Just leave us alone.’

‘Fuck you, Adam! Everyone’s been breaking their backs for you and Izzy, and you treat us like dirt. Fuck you!’ Riley shouted.

For once Mia didn’t mind her daughter’s cursing.

‘Adam, why don’t you go and sit down? I’ll walk these guys out.’ Rob gently pushed his brother back into the kitchen and closed the door.

‘I don’t care how upset he is, he’s a prick,’ Johnny said angrily.

‘Please don’t,’ Rob said. ‘He’s not a prick, he’s a broken man.’

‘Are you all right, Dad?’ Mia asked her father, who was standing still, staring into space.

‘I’m very far from it,’ Charlie said. ‘I don’t want to see Sarah in that awful state, but I don’t want to leave her alone either. I’d feel as if I was abandoning her if I didn’t go to see her while that machine is keeping her alive.’

Mia tried to give him a reassuring smile. ‘Of course. Don’t mind Adam. He’s not thinking straight tonight. He can’t stop you seeing your own daughter. We’ll go and see her together and you can just hold her hand, look out of the window and talk to her that way.’

‘Yes, I suppose I could. Good girl, Mia, that’s what we’ll do.’

‘Good. Now why don’t you go home and have a nice hot whiskey and get some sleep?’

‘Great idea,’ Rob said. ‘Why don’t we all get some rest and perhaps we can smooth things over when everyone’s calmed down?’

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