Page 92 of Seven Letters

‘Now, you only have to go as far into the room as you wish,’ Angela said. ‘And the moment you want to leave, you do that. Don’t feel it’s disrespectful to leave quickly. It’s a shock, and we don’t want you to feel any pressure to stay with Sarah.’

Riley nodded.

Mia grabbed her hand. ‘Riley, you need to prepare yourself. She looks awful … really, really awful.’

‘It’s OK, Mum,’ Riley said, looking nervous. ‘I understand. I’m ready.’

Mia helped her daughter with the apron and mask, then to disinfect her hands and put on gloves, and Johnny did the same. The three of them walked into the room.

Beside her, Mia heard Johnny gasp, ‘Oh, Jesus.’

Riley walked straight over to the bed. ‘Hi, Sarah, it’s Riley and … Oh, my God!’ she shrieked.

‘I told you this was a bad idea,’ Mia hissed to Johnny.

Riley covered her eyes. ‘Oh, no … Sarah …’

Mia went over to comfort her, wrapping her in a tight hug. ‘We’ll leave, love. Let’s go.’

Riley shrugged her arms away and took a deep breath. ‘No, I’m OK. Sorry, Sarah.’ She exhaled, walked over to the chair and sat down. She stared at Sarah, as Johnny and Mia stared at her.

‘Poor Sarah,’ Johnny whispered.

Riley picked up a brush from the bedside locker and began to brush Sarah’s hair out across the pillow. She was gentle and tender and it hurt Mia’s heart to see it.

‘I always loved your hair, Sarah. It’s movie-star hair. So silky and golden and wavy. Black is a bit crap, really. Maybe I’ll dye mine blonde later.’ Riley looked over at her parents. ‘Honestly, it’s OK now. You can go. I’ll just stay for a few minutes.’

Mia and Johnny left the room, but Mia stood outside the door, leaving it slightly ajar so she could rush in if Riley panicked.

‘I thought you’d like to know that Izzy is doing fine. I see her in the yard every day. She misses you big-time, but she’s stronger than she looks. She’s got your sweetness with a bit of Adam’s toughness, which is good. Everyone keeps asking about you. It’s hard to know what to say. I say you’re in acoma. I’m really sorry about the baby, Sarah. I know you wanted a sibling for Izzy. I used to hate being an only child, but I’ve kind of got used to it now. It’s a bit intense because there is only you for your parents to focus on and you know what Mum is like – she’s all over me like a rash, on my case twenty-four/seven. But then again, you get all your parents’ love and attention, which is kind of cool too.

‘I know you won’t be there for Izzy, to see her grow up, and that totally sucks, but Mum will look out for her, and Dad and me and Granddad and Rob will, too. So she won’t feel alone or not loved enough. We’ll fill the gap, I promise.

‘You were always so great to me. I loved calling into your house. There was always amazing home-cooked food and you were always so interested in me. You made Mum chill out and give me a break too. The only time I saw you annoyed was when I told Mum to shut up and you snapped at me and said, “Don’t speak to your mother like that.”

‘When Mum went to the loo, you told me I should treasure her because she did so much for me. She worked so hard to provide me with everything and she was a brilliant mother. I was never to disrespect her and I should appreciate her. That made me think, and I realized you were right. I was mortified that you’d seen me being rude, and ashamed as well. Mum is great and I know how much she does for me. I guess sometimes we just clash. Dad says it’s because we’re so similar, stubborn mules. I’ve tried to help and be kind since you’ve been in your coma, but I always seem to say the wrong thing. I dunno, it’s like my brain wants to say one thing but it comes out of my mouth all wrong. I’m worried about Mum. She’s so sad. I’ve never seen her like this. She spent half the day in bed yesterday. Yeah, I know! Mum in bed. I think she’s depressed. I was scared she’d turn into one of those people who sits in a chair and rocks all day with dribble on their chin.

‘I know her heart is broken in pieces. She cries a lot, and you know Mum never cries. It’s hard seeing her so upset. But she loves you so much, she can’t bear to say goodbye.

‘I’m boring you now, amn’t I? I guess I just wanted you to know that I’m trying to be a good daughter and I love you and I miss you and I still can’t believe this has happened. God, Sarah, I really, really miss you. You were so brilliant to me.’

Mia could hear the sound of quiet crying. She bent her head and tried to fight back her own tears. Johnny came over and put his arms around her and she rested her head against him. From inside the room, they could hear Riley sniffing and taking deep breaths.

‘I’m going to say goodbye, Sarah, even though I don’t want to. But I’m not going to come in again because it really hurts to see you like this. I can’t believe they’re letting this happen to you. I’d pull that plug in a heartbeat if it were my choice … Oh, God, this is hard. I don’t want to get up and go because then it’s really over. I wish you were still here, Sarah. I’ll remember you always. Love you.’

Through the crack in the door, Mia saw Riley stand up. Then she sat down again quickly, covering her face with her hands. Mia pointed silently and Johnny nodded. They pushed open the door and went inside. Mia went over and put her arm around Riley.

‘Wherever she is, she heard you, and she adores you too,’ she said. ‘Come on, time to go now.’

She helped Riley to her feet and she and Johnny walked their daughter out of the room. Once outside, Johnny wrapped his arms around the two of them as they cried.

‘What are you doing here?’ a voice demanded.

Mia and Riley looked up, and Johnny took a step forward.

‘Adam,’ Johnny said, ‘Riley wanted –’

‘I thought I made it perfectly clear yesterday that you are not allowed near Sarah,’ Adam snapped, as he walked towards them. ‘You didn’t do anything, did you?’ he said, staring at them wildly. He ran past them into the room, glanced around, then came back out to them again.

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