Page 18 of The New Girl

Safa nodded. ‘Very.’

‘The good news is that your mother’s vital signs are all normal. I do, however, think she is suffering from anxiety. I’m going to suggest that your mother takes some anti-anxiety medication. We can start her on a low dose and see how she tolerates it. I think it’ll help her. It will help with sleep and moods and worry and should improve her quality of life.’

Mama was wary of ‘foreign’ doctors. She only trusted Syrian ones. But they were in Ireland now, there were no Syrian doctors, and this doctor seemed nice and knowledgeable and helpful. And if the pills helped Mama sleep and not be worried all the time, that would be a good thing.

Dr Brady, seeing her hesitate, said, ‘Look, Safa, if your mum had an eye infection, I’d give her drugs to clear it up. These drugs are to help her anxiety get better. There is nothing to worry about, they are totally safe, and I am suggesting a low dose.’

Safa knew Mama wasn’t sleeping. Whenever Safa woke up from one of her nightmares or had to go to the bathroom in the early morning, Safa would see Mama’s light on. She’d peep in and see Mama reading or listening to the radio, trying to find the latest news from home.

Safa gently explained to Mama that the doctor was giving her pills to help with stress and sleep. She said they would make her calmer so that her heart wouldn’t beat too fast and she wouldn’t faint.

Mama didn’t argue; she was clearly happy to take something to help her. She nodded and took the prescription. As they were about to leave, Dr Brady stopped them.

‘Safa, I’d like to talk to you about how you are feeling,’ she said.

‘I’m fine,’ Safa lied.

‘I’m not sure you are, pet. You have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders for a young girl. How are you coping with it all? Are you sleeping? Do you have nightmares? How is your anxiety?’

Safa swallowed the lump in her throat. Every time she thought about the fact that they hadn’t heard from Baba in almost ten days, she wanted to scream, but she didn’t want to fall apart in front of Mama. ‘I’m OK, thank you. I started in Saint Mary’s school a few weeks ago and it’s good. I like the girls and I’m doing well in my schoolwork.’

Dr Brady smiled. ‘I’m delighted to hear that – it’s a good school. But I imagine you have been through a lot and it’s not easy to deal with it all. Are you sleeping? You look tired.’

Safa didn’t want to talk about her nightmares. She wanted to forget about them. Besides, Mama was staring at her, trying to understand what the doctor was asking her.

‘Why can’t we go now?’ Mama asked. ‘What is she asking you? I want to get the medicine and go home now, Safa.’

Safa squeezed her mother’s hand. ‘I’m fine, thank you, Doctor. I’m just worried about Mama. We need to go now. She needs some rest.’

‘All right, but remember, my door is always open to you, Safa. I’ll leave a note at reception so they know that if you come in, I’ll see you straight away.’

‘Thank you for being so kind,’ Safa said.

Dr Brady smiled a sad smile and patted her on the shoulder. ‘Your mum is lucky to have such a caring daughter.’

Mama held Safa’s hand as they walked out.

They went to the pharmacy next door to get the pills and then walked slowly home. Safa gave Mama one of the pills and a glass of water and then helped her into bed.

‘I love you, Habibti,’ Mama said, holding Safa’s face in her hands. ‘You are my angel, my life. I thank Allah every day for sending you to me.’

‘I love you too, Mama.’ Safa smiled.

‘I’m sorry I gave you a fright this morning. I’m just tired. Don’t worry about me – I am strong. I come from a long line of strong women. I will always be here for you, Safa. I will always look after you.’ Mama kissed Safa’s cheeks and then lay back on the pillow and was asleep within seconds.

Safa wanted to believe her, but she knew that nothing in life was certain. No one could promise to be there for you for ever, because you didn’t know what was around the corner. She had been so happy in Syria but then the war happened, and everything changed and was horrible, and now Baba was far away and Mama was not well.

Safa went down to do her homework. They had an English essay to write. The title was ‘My Favourite Animal’.

Safa thought of Adira’s sweet furry face. She put her head in her hands and cried.

CHAPTER NINE

Ruby

Late that night, Ruby was lying on her bed, watchingThe Wizard of Ozfor the zillionth time. She wanted so badly to play Dorothy. The auditions were on Monday and she knew Amber had been practising ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ all week. She knew that Amber was her main competition for the lead role.

Ruby paused the video. She had to prepare herself for the worst. She might not get Dorothy. If she didn’t, she wanted to be the Scarecrow. He was the second-best part, in her opinion. The character description said, ‘Though the scarecrow’s dearest wish is that Oz give him a brain, he is already possessed of intelligence. He learns quickly and usually comes up with a helpful idea when the characters face challenges.’

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