Page 10 of Good Sisters

‘Back away, Dolores. Now is not your time. Mum was a very special woman and we miss her. We want her memory to be honoured and we need space to process our loss and grieve. So, back away and leave Dad alone. Have some respect. Mum is … Mum was … she …’ Louise began to cry again. Before today, I hadn’t seen her cry since Clara’s diagnosis. And before that was when she was fifteen and came second in a national debating competition. She still claims it was a fix.

Julie rushed over, put her arm around Louise and led her away, mouthing, ‘Sorry,’ to Dolores. I didn’t think Dolores deserved a sorry, but that was Julie, always nice to everyone.

I went over and linked Dad’s arm. ‘How are you holding up, Dad?’

‘I just can’t believe she’s really gone,’ he whispered. ‘We drove each other mad at times but she was my Anne. I can’t remember life without her. My lovely Anne.’

‘Oh, Dad, I know.’ I kissed his cheek.

Would I feel this level of grief if Jack died, I wondered. The thing was, I could remember life without him. I remembered life without him very well. I remembered our terrible break-up, then him meeting and shacking up with Pippa. I remembered all of the pain and heartache. It was still clear in my mind. Would I feel bereft if Jack passed away? I wasn’t sure. I loved him, but there was a lot of hurt and mistrust in our past. And because of Robert, we were stuck with Pippa in our lives, a constant reminder of our years apart.

Mum and Dad had had fifty-three years of constancy. Ups and downs, to be sure, but consistent support, love and respect. It was true love in its raw and honest form.

We’d all have to rally around Dad to help him through. No doubt Louise would have an Excel spreadsheet drawn up for us, but we also needed to give him the space to grieve and feel, to sit and cry or stare at the wall.

I glanced at my watch. It was almost six o’clock. I hoped people would start heading home soon. I was exhausted and had nothing left to give. I prayed Jack would follow through on his promise of a hot bath and a gin and tonic.

4. Julie

I drove into the school car park and squeezed my electric car between two oversized brand-new Range Rovers. I got out, opened the boot and heaved out the boys’ backpacks and sports kits. Plonking the bags on the ground, I looked around for the triplets. No sign of them.

I wrenched the back door of the car open. Heads bent together, they were looking at some TikTok video.

‘GET OUT!’ I roared. ‘You lazy, ungrateful, useless lot.’

‘Jeez, Mum, calm down,’ Leo grumbled.

‘Why are you going mental?’ Luke asked.

‘You’re always narky these days,’ Liam added.

‘Leave Mum alone. She’s sad about Granny,’ Tom, my little pet, said.

‘Still?’ Liam seemed surprised.

Apparently there was a time limit to grief.

‘In fairness, Mum, it’s been a while. I know it’s hard, but I’m just wondering how long you think you’re going to be narky for,’ Luke said.

‘Are we talking days, weeks or months?’ Leo was all about the details.

‘I don’t bloody know,’ I hissed. ‘But I’d be a lot less grumpy if you all helped a bit more. I’d be less irritated if you took your faces out of your bloody phones and got your own bags out of the boot.’

‘No one asked you to do it,’ Liam said.

‘Yeah, like, if you’d waited ten seconds, we’d have done it.’

‘It’s not a big deal, Mum, chill.’

‘Chill?Chill?My mother died five weeks ago and everyone seems to expect me to put it behind me and move on. I will not chill now, or probably for a long time, so get your lazy arses out of the car and go to school.’

‘Jeez, okay.’

‘No need to freak out.’

‘No need to rip our heads off.’

The triplets picked up their backpacks and kitbags and headed into the senior school building. Tom picked up his bag and headed in the other direction, to the junior school. But then he turned and ran back towards me. He hugged me.

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