Page 105 of Good Sisters

‘In fairness, I had help and …’ I paused. I had never admitted this to my family, only Jack, and I’d told him years afterwards, but it might help Gavin to know. ‘I did struggle. I actually had post-natal depression. I ended up on anti-depressants for a year.’

‘What?’ He was shocked. ‘I had no idea. You always seemed so together.’

I shrugged. ‘I’m good at faking it.’

‘Wow. That must have been tough. Can men get post-natal depression?’

I grinned. ‘I don’t know. But I don’t think you have it. You’re just overwhelmed. This is all completely normal. Newborn babies are a shock to the system and turn your life upside-down. And when you’re on your own all day with no help or partner to hand the baby over to, even for half an hour, it’s really, really hard.’

‘Yeah. I can’t wait for Shania to come back. The days areloooooong. I never knew how much I need my sleep.’

‘Get used to surviving on a few hours.’

‘I wish Mum was here. She’d help me.’

‘Yeah, she’d probably have moved in and helped you full-time.’

‘God, that would have been brilliant.’

‘Are Shania’s parents involved?’

‘They have three other grandkids so they’re spread thin. Besides, I don’t want them to know I’m struggling. Their daughter is the one paying the bills, so I can’t be failing at my job. I really miss Mum at the moment. I keep going to call her and then … you know …’

I reached over and held his hand. ‘I know. It’s hard.’

‘I called Dad yesterday just to come and take Lemon out for a walk, but he was busy playing golf or something with Dolores. I haven’t seen him in over a week.’

‘To be fair to him, Dad never babysat alone. He’s nervous around babies – he’s never changed a nappy. He only ever babysat with Mum. And Julie will tell you they didn’t help her much at all because Mum and Dad found the triplets so challenging.’

‘I know but, like, he said he wanted to be more helpful yet he’s all caught up with Dolores.’

‘He’s struggling, Gavin. He opened up in Italy. He’s finding it really hard to figure out life without Mum. I know Dolores is a royal pain in the arse, but at least she’s good to him and she gets him out of the house. Do you know what? We should all go out together and catch up. I think I’ll organize a coffee and invite Dolores too.’

‘What?’

‘If she’s being nice to Dad, we need to be nice to her.’

Gavin wiped HP sauce from his chin with a square of kitchen roll. ‘You can fill me in properly on the details of the Italian trip you all went on without me.’

‘Get over it. You wouldn’t have been able to come anyway. You have Lemon to look after.’

‘I know that, but it would have been nice to be asked. Like, the whole family went except me.’

Sometimes we forgot that Gavin felt a bit left out. WhenMum was alive, she’d always fuss over him and make sure he felt included, but now that she was gone, we needed to be more sensitive.

I stood up. ‘Right, let’s get this place cleaned up, so Shania can come home to a nice, tidy house tomorrow.’

Gavin threw his arms around me. ‘Thanks, sis. Honestly, I was about to crack up. And thanks to Jack for his awesome tip.’

I kissed his cheek. ‘Hey, it’s okay. All new parents feel like this. Call us anytime.’

We cleaned up and later, as I closed the front door behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d forgotten how difficult the early days could be. As tricky as Jess’s moods were, at least she wasn’t a screaming baby.

25. Julie

Marion sat opposite me in her fleecy pyjamas, drinking coffee with a large splash of brandy in it. Leaning her chin on her hand, she sighed. ‘I’m lonely, Julie. I’m fed up of being on my own. That prick is away in Dubai with nice kind Sally and I’m here raising the kids on a shoestring and going to bed alone every night, having spent all day earning money on my sex line encouraging lonely farmers to jerk off. And when I go online to date, all I meet are dickheads. Are there no nice single, separated or divorced dads in that posh school?’

There were a few, but I didn’t think they’d be Marion’s type or, let’s be honest, vice versa.

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