Page 111 of Good Sisters

‘Okay, sweetheart, have a spoonful of this. It’ll help.’

Clara took the medicine and lay down again, rubbing the corner of her blanket between her fingers. She’d need a longsleep to recuperate from the meltdown. They always left her exhausted, physically and mentally.

‘You know that you don’t have to meet Marco tomorrow. We can put it off for a while if you want or for ever. You only do what you want to do. Okay?’

She nodded. ‘I do want to see him. I just want him to like me. What if he thinks I’m weird or a freak, like the kids in school do?’

I tried not to cry. How dare those little shits make my beautiful angel feel insecure?

‘Marco will fall in love with you the way we all have. He already thinks you’re wonderful after your chats on FaceTime. I’ve told him all about you and how amazing you are, and Julie, Sophie and Granddad told him how fantastic you are too.’

My daughter’s pale face gazed up at me. ‘Do you really think he’ll like me?’

‘I one hundred million per cent know he will.’

Clara frowned. ‘It’s one hundred per cent, Mummy, not one hundred million per cent.’

I smiled down at her. ‘Yes, you clever girl, it is.’

‘I think it’s good that we’ve learned some Italian too.’

‘It is, and Marco’s English has improved a lot. He’s making a huge effort for you.’

‘I’m scared he’ll meet me and not want to be my daddy.’

I took a risk and held her hand. She didn’t pull away.

‘Clara, Marco is over the moon to know he has you as a daughter. He will adore you because you are the most incredible girl in the world.’

She began to fidget. I needed to keep her calm and for her to sleep. Knowing exactly what was going to happen always helped calm her down.

‘For now, you need to have a big sleep. Tomorrow I’ll wake you up at nine. We’ll have breakfast. Then we’ll go for a shortwalk to the bakery and buy some scones and be back home by ten thirty. We’ll set the table and fill the kettle and switch on the coffee machine. Marco will arrive at eleven and we’ll have tea and coffee and scones in the kitchen and then, if you want, you can show him your bedroom and we can have a chat or watch a movie, or you can read your bird book to him, or play music … whatever you feel like doing. Okay?’

She nodded. ‘Does he like plain scones or fruit ones or the ones with berries in them?’

‘Plain,’ I lied. I had no idea, but Clara needed firm answers.

‘Like me. Then we’ll get two plain scones and a berry one for you.’

‘Yes, pet.’

‘And we can use the white plates and the blue napkins because they’re my favourite. And I want Marco to have the orange mug that says “Smile”, and I’ll have the blue mug that says “Best Daughter” and you’ll have the yellow mug that says “World’s Best Mum”.’

I smiled. ‘Yes, darling, that’s a good idea.’

Clara’s hands relaxed and her eyelids began to droop. She was ready for sleep.

‘You go to sleep now. Will I turn the lights down lower or do you want them as they are?’

‘Lower, please.’

I leaned over and kissed her forehead. ‘I love you, Clara, and I don’t want you to worry about anything. We’ll only ever do what you want to do. Sleep well, my love.’

She rolled over and closed her eyes. As I gently pulled the door three-quarters closed, the way she liked it, I heard her whisper, ‘I love you, Mummy, and I hope I love Marco too.’

Clara stared out of the window as I watched the clock. I’d told Marco he had to be on time. Not one minute late.

At exactly eleven o’clock I heard Clara shout, ‘He’s here.’

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