Page 147 of Good Sisters

‘Thanks. I will.’

I had a distinct feeling there was nothing anyone could do. I was going to have to weather this storm alone and I had no idea what the fallout would be.

35. Sophie

Jess walked towards the car, beaming. She was holding a piece of paper. She jumped into the front seat and handed it to me. ‘I got an A in my English essay, Mum!’ she said. ‘Mrs Power said it was the best essay she’s read in ages. I’ve never got an A in English before. It feels amazing. It’s my birthday gift to myself.’

I was delighted for her. ‘Well done, Jess. I’m really proud of you.’ And I was: I was ridiculously proud of her. ‘But do you still want all the birthday presents I’ve wrapped, ready to give you on Saturday?’

She laughed. ‘Hell, yes, I still want those, all of them!’

‘But definitely not a party, even just a few girls over?’

Jess shook her head. ‘No. I just want you, me, Dad and Robert.’

‘Okay, pet, whatever you say.’

I glanced down at the essay. The title was ‘My Patchwork Family’.

‘Oh, is this about us?’ I asked.

She nodded. ‘But don’t worry, I didn’t say anything about Pippa and rehab and all of that. It’s just about how we’re a mixture of two families rolled into one. It’s about how Robert is my full brother to me, even though he’s technically a half-brother, and how having a stepmum wasn’t easy for me and being a stepmum isn’t easy for you, but how amazing you are with Robert. I said you treat him like your own son and protect him and comfort him the way you always protect and comfort me.’

‘Oh, Jess.’ I didn’t know what to say – I was blown away.

‘You do, Mum,’ Jess said. ‘You’ve always been great with Robert, but since Pippa went to rehab you’ve been incredible.’

‘Thanks, love. I just feel really sorry for him. He’s had a tough time, tougher than we realized.’ I’d been love-bombing Robert since his mum went into rehab. The poor kid needed to feel secure, safe and loved. He’d been acting up a lot. His little head was confused and he was upset.

Jess put on her seatbelt and I drove out of the school car park.

‘Do you think Pippa will stay sober now?’ she asked softly.

Pippa was out of rehab and, so far, every time she had turned up to the house to visit Robert, she had been sober and together. She looked very fragile, though. She’d lost a lot of weight and was very drawn. Jack insisted on being there when she came to see their son and watched her like a hawk. He’d been so upset by what we’d witnessed at Pippa’s apartment that he was determined to make sure he protected Robert at all costs.

‘I’m praying Pippa stays sober, but I’ll be honest with you, I’m not sure she will. She seems very vulnerable, and she’s lost her purpose, her confidence and her job. Somehow, she’ll have to find a way to build herself up again. We’ll help her, of course. I’ve already asked Quentin to see about getting her some catalogue modelling work. We’ll just have to take it a day at a time and see.’

‘Mum?’

‘Yes, pet.’

‘I never said this to you, but I want to say thanks for not falling apart when you broke up with Dad, and for being so brave, going out and getting a job, paying the rent and looking after me. I know it must have been a total nightmare, but you were amazing.’

I pulled the car over, put my head down on the steering wheel and began to bawl my eyes out. For so long I’d wanted Jess to acknowledge what I’d done for her. I’d wondered if she’d ever know how deep I’d had to dig not to fall apart. I’d wondered if she’d noticed how hard I’d worked to keep us afloat. All I wanted was my beautiful daughter to see what I had done and to recognize the courage it had taken. It meant the world to me.

‘Jesus, Mum, what’s wrong?’

‘No … no … I’m just … I’m just so happy that you … that you said that.’

‘Well, then, why are you crying your eyes out?’

Because I was a middle-aged woman whose life had turned out to be very different from what I’d imagined, but who, after a few really rotten years, was happy with my lot. I had a man I loved, a daughter I adored and a stepson I loved more every day. I had my sisters and Gavin, and I had Dad, who was around a lot more now that he’d broken up with Dolores. I’d had a brilliant mum to show me the way. I was lucky, very, very lucky.

I took a deep breath and hugged Jess. ‘Until you have a child of your own, you’ll never know how much you can love another human being. You are my everything, Jess. And all the strength you see in me, it’s in you. I see it.’

‘Stop,’ Jess cried out. ‘You’ll make me cry.’

We hugged, and when I had finally stopped crying, we headed home.

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