Page 149 of Good Sisters

‘Yes.’ She flicked her hair back.

‘Who’s the friend?’

‘None of your business. I have to go now. Bye, my love.’ She hugged Robert, whose arms hung limply by his sides.

‘Jess, stay with Robert, please. I’ll walk Pippa out.’ I closed the TV-room door behind us. Turning on her, I hissed, ‘How could you do that? He was so looking forward to the day out with you and Jack.’

‘He’s fine. I’ll bring him next week and it’s really none of your business.’

‘It is my business, Pippa, because I’m the one who’ll have to pick up the pieces of his broken heart when you swan off on your holiday.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘It’s a trip to the zoo, Sophie, not his graduation ceremony.’

‘He’s a kid who has been through a lot lately,’ I reminded her. ‘Please don’t let him down again. It’s just not fair.’

She swung around. ‘Do not tell me how to raise my son. I don’t tell you what do to with Jess, so back off with Robert.’

‘You don’t have to deal with the fallout from this.I do,’ I hissed. ‘I’ll be the one consoling him because his mother put herself first, again.’

‘Oh, please, stop with the Saint Sophie crap.’

‘I’m no saint, Pippa, but I try to be a good mother. Just change your plans and go away next weekend.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because Vincent can only go this weekend.’

I stared at her in shock. ‘You got back with that jerk? I thought you’d left all that behind?’

‘He missed me. He begged me to come back to him and he swore he’d leave his wife this time.’

Dear God, was she really that stupid? ‘Come on, Pippa, you know that’s bullshit.’

‘I need this.’ She bit her thumbnail. ‘I need to feel – to feel like I matter. I need to feel loved. I hate myself. I hate my life. I need some fun.’

I had to make her see. ‘Pippa, you’ll build your confidence back up by being a good mother. You’ll find joy in Robert. He’s a brilliant kid. Spend more time with him. He adores you.’

Pippa fished around in her oversized tote for her car keys. ‘It’s not enough,’ she said quietly. ‘I know it should be, but it isn’t.’

It sounded so cold it took my breath away. I had never heard any woman ever say those words.

I put my hands on her shoulders. ‘Pippa, look at me.’

She avoided eye contact.

‘Please, please, don’t do this. Getting back with Vincent is not good for your recovery. Think of your son. What we saw that day in your apartment was distressing, to say the least. You have a beautiful child. Fight for him, Pippa. Get well for him. Love him, engage with him. He will give you so much joy.’

‘I can’t do it.’ Tears rolled down her cheeks. ‘I just can’t. I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t know how to be a mother. I resent him. That’s the truth, Sophie. I know I’m evil and heartless for saying that, but I do. I’m a shit mother and I’ll only ruin his life. He’s better off without me. You’re a good mother. He’ll be happy and safe with you and Jack. I’m not good enough to be his mother. He deserves a happy life and he’ll have that with you guys.’

I stood there in absolute shock. Was she really saying that she was giving up? Was she giving up her son? My brain couldn’t even process it.

She turned and walked towards the front door. I called after her, ‘What am I supposed to tell Jack?’

She returned, her face streaked with tears. ‘Tell him I’m sorry, but I need more. Being a mum isn’t enough. I realize that makes me some kind of freak and a monster, but it’s the truth.’

‘Please, Pippa.’ I was crying now too. ‘Robert needs his mum. You’ll regret this. Please.’

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