Page 154 of Good Sisters

‘Yes, as long as nothing is delayed, which hopefully it won’t be.’

‘What if the car you hired breaks down?’

‘It won’t, Clara. I’ve booked the most reliable, safest car they have.’

‘What if … what if … Anna doesn’t love me?’

‘Oh, sweetheart, of course she will. She loves you already from your calls.’

‘Lots of people in school don’t love me or even like me.’

‘Well, they’re just stupid.’

‘No, Mummy. Oliver is very smart. He gets almost as good grades as me.’

‘I mean emotionally stupid, immature. They don’t see how incredible you are.’

Clara sighed. ‘Sometimes I really wish I was like other kids. Life would be much easier. I’d understand games and jokes and I wouldn’t feel strange.’

Oh, Clara, my beautiful, precious Clara.

‘Darling, no two people are the same. And, yes, I know that having autism makes life more difficult. I understand that it’s harder for you to navigate the world than for other people, but that’s your superpower. You see the world from a different angle. It’s what makes you unique and incredible.’

‘That’s what Granny used to say.’

‘Granny was a very wise woman.’ Thank you, Mum, for loving Clara with all of your heart, I thought, for the millionth time.

‘What if the pilot gets sick and we have to land somewhere else?’ Clara’s eyes were wide again.

I knew this could go on for hours. My head was throbbing from lack of sleep. Clara had come to me five times the night before to ask questions and check the travel schedule.

‘Will I put onCasablancafor you?’

‘Okay.’

Yes!

She put on her big headphones and I played the movie. I sank back into my seat and closed my eyes. Hopefully we wouldn’t be delayed landing and the queue for car hire would not be long. Clara didn’t do well in crowded public places. I was also terrified she’d have a meltdown when she got to Marco’s place. I had a knot in my stomach. I still wasn’t even sure I was doing the right thing. She said she wanted to go to see her dad and meet hernonna, but would she actually be able for it? Were we moving too fast?

I stopped the car halfway down the lane to the farmhouse and turned to Clara. ‘If you have any doubts, we can turn back. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.’

‘I want to do it.’

‘Okay.’ I started the car.

‘But, Mummy?’

‘Yes?’

‘Will you hold my hand?’

‘Of course I will, and I won’t let go until you say it’s okay.’

Marco was outside waiting for us. I’d texted to say what time we’d be arriving. He waved his arms in the air and ran towards the car. I signalled at him to calm down.

He stood back and let Clara open the door.

‘Amore,’ he said.

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