Page 81 of Good Sisters

‘Good for her,’ Sophie said. ‘But I hope she’s minding herself too. A C-section is a big procedure.’

‘I’m looking after her, don’t you worry.’

‘You’re a lucky man,’ Jack noted. ‘A gorgeous and successful wife. Happy days.’

Louise nudged me. I knew what she was thinking: did Jack have a death wish?

Sophie glared at him. ‘What do you mean?’

‘What? I just mean it’s great for Gavin.’

‘I work my butt off, Jack, and I look bloody good for my age.’

‘I know you do.’

‘So do you consider yourself lucky too?’

‘But you don’t, Sophie. You still have a big bottom,’ Clara said.

Oh, dear God.

‘Yes, I am lucky, very lucky.’ Jack pulled back from the brink.

‘It’s just an expression, darling,’ Louise told her daughter. ‘To work your butt off means to work very hard. You don’t actually get rid of your bottom.’

‘Do I have a big butt?’ Sophie looked affronted.

‘No, you have a perfect one,’ Jack said.

I made vomit noises.

‘Are you going to vomit, Julie?’ Clara asked.

‘No, sweetie. Jack is just being smarmy so I’m making fun.’

‘Is vomiting fun for you?’

Gavin stepped in. ‘Julie is just being silly, Clara.’

‘Yes, she is.’

Louise and Sophie started laughing.

‘She’s been silly all her life,’ Jack said, grinning at me.

‘Touché,’ I said, sticking out my tongue at him.

We heard loud singing from the school supporters beside us.

Louise held out Clara’s earphones. ‘Put these on, sweetie. The cheering is going to get very noisy.’

Clara put them on.

Sophie leaned in to me and said, ‘Is my bum big?’

‘No, it isn’t. It’s half the size of mine,’ I told her.

‘For the love of God, will you all pipe down? The match is about to start.’ Dad was getting wound up. He always gotuptight when there was a sports match to be watched. We had spent most Saturdays of our childhood being shouted out of the TV room for ‘ruining the game’.

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