Page 101 of The In-Laws

‘Katie, the root of all this is alcohol.’ Melanie said it straight.

‘I know,’ Katie said miserably, ‘but I never usually black out when I drink. I usually just get giddy.’

‘And you slur, and you fall over too, in front of clients.’ Melanie wasn’t holding back.

Amanda thought of the times she’d been with Katie and, apart from swimming, Katie had always had a drink in her hand. The family lunches always ended up with Katie being pretty smashed. Whenever Amanda and Ross had come home for Christmas, Katie had always been buzzing then too. She used to see her sister-in-law only once or twice a year but, truth be told, she’d never seen Katie sober at a family event. She was rarely messy, but she was always a bit drunker than anyone else.

‘I … Well, I find I drink more now than I used to.’

‘How much would you drink in a normal week? Be honest,’ Melanie asked.

Katie paused. ‘I dunno, I suppose Jamie and I share a bottle of wine a night. Maybe two on Fridays.’ She blushed.

‘Would you both drink the same amount?’ Melanie continued.

‘I guess I drink faster than him, and I’m the one who usually opens the second bottle.’

‘What about the weekends?’

‘We try to go out every Saturday night, to keep our relationship fresh and be a couple. We go for dinner, drinks, maybe a club. I suppose we’d have wine and vodkas, maybe some cocktails.’

Jesus, that was a lot. Amanda would be smashed after four drinks.

‘Katie, that’s a huge amount,’ Amanda said. ‘Have you always drunk this much?’

Katie sniffed. ‘No, it seems to have crept up.’

‘When did you start drinking?’ Amanda asked.

Katie pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt down over her hands. ‘Well, I had my first drink when I was thirteen. My mum was dead and I’d just got my period. I couldn’t ask my dad for help. I was full of hormones and feeling lost. I couldn’t handle the pain of missing her. I tried self-harming, but it hurt too much. I’m such a wuss.’ She laughed bitterly. ‘So, I drank. It helped to numb the pain.’

Amanda felt her anger and judgement of Katie evaporate. Her sister-in-law’s relationship with alcohol clearly went much deeper than she’d imagined. Amanda hadn’t realized how much Katie had suffered, losing her mother at such a young age. She always seemed so bubbly and sunny-side-up, but underneath there was a lost little girl who desperately missed her mum.

‘That must have been very difficult for you. Do you think drink has become a way to manage things in your life?’ Melanie was sympathetic but clinical.

Katie sat back in her chair. ‘I guess so. I always do have a drink after a long day, or a difficult day with a tricky client, or if the kids are being annoying, or if I’m justfeeling a bit low.’ She looked down at her hands. ‘I even had a drink before you guys arrived to help steady my nerves.’ She looked up, her eyes wet. ‘When I’m saying it now … it’s all the time. I didn’t even realize. I suppose I see alcohol as something that’s not that bad. It’s not like I’m doing drugs or anything. My dad drank every day after work. He was no shining example of parenthood and he drank because he was sad and lonely, but he never missed work or was abusive or nasty to anyone, least of all me. He was just broken-hearted about my mum dying and alcohol helped. I started drinking most nights after I got my period. It used to help me sleep. I kept having the same nightmare over and over … and then I’d wake up and realize it wasn’t a nightmare, my mother was dead and I’d never see her again. Even now I can’t go to sleep without a drink, ever.’

‘But, Katie,’ Amanda said, ‘alcoholisa drug, one of the most addictive and abused ones, especially in Ireland.’

‘I just never thought it was.’ Katie stared at Amanda, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Amanda reached out to hold her hand. ‘Hey, it’s okay, you’ve had a lot to deal with. I never knew how lonely your childhood was. You always seem so happy and together, and you and Jamie are such a brilliant couple. I always envied your closeness.’

‘And now you see I’m just a basket case and a terrible wife, a cheating drunk.’

‘Don’t say that. You’re human and we all make mistakes,’ Melanie said. ‘I was tempted to sleep with Petrus. If he hadn’t been such an idiot, I might well have.’

‘Really?’ Amanda was shocked. Melanie, the straight, driven, never-put-a-foot-wrong agent, was tempted to cheat? Was everyone in this family okay about cheating?Was she the only one who thought it was morally wrong and a horrible thing to do to your spouse?

‘I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me to admit it, with everything that’s going on between Ross and Ruby.’ Melanie realized her mistake too late. ‘It was just a moment of madness and nothing happened.’

‘I’m sorry too, Amanda. I’m not a cheat, I swear. I love my family. I’d die for them and I’ve put all that at risk. I honestly think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown from the guilt and all I want right now is a drink. Isn’t that awful?’

Katie was truly heartbroken. Amanda patted her arm. ‘Look, it’s how we handle our mistakes that matters. You were a lost, grief-struck young girl who got into a bad habit that she never got out of. But I think cutting out alcohol would do you a power of good. It would clear your mind and help you make smarter decisions.’

‘I agree,’ Melanie said. ‘If you weren’t drunk that night, you wouldn’t have gone back to that guy’s room and you wouldn’t have fallen over in front of clients and you wouldn’t have called Nancy a poisonous bitch. Alcohol is not your friend. It’s causing you nothing but trouble.’

Katie wiped her eyes with a tissue. ‘God, you’re so right. I’ve become a nasty, messy drunk and it’s affecting all aspects of my life. That’s it. I’m never drinking again.’

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