Page 107 of The In-Laws

Melanie braced herself with a double espresso, took a deep breath, held it for four, exhaled for four and then, still feeling jittery and anxious, went out into the garden.

Frank had his back to her: he was meditating. He looked so calm and peaceful. She envied him his tranquillity and stillness. She knew he had worked hard after the car crash to get to this place. Ever since she’d known him, he had been centred and serene. When she’d fallen apart after having the twins, Frank had looked after them and found her a therapist. There had been no judgement, no resentment, just love and understanding. She knew how lucky she was to have met him and she thanked God that he was the father to their daughters. The twins were blessed to have Frank as their dad.

She waited for him to finish. When he turned around, she handed him a green tea. He was surprised. ‘Thanks, this is so nice.’

‘It’s cold out here.’ She pulled her cardigan around her.

‘Crisp but beautiful.’ Frank sipped his tea.

‘I need to talk to you, Frank.’

Frank said nothing. He gave her the space to talk, just like he always did.

Melanie looked into his eyes. ‘I love you, Frank. I think you’re an incredible man, husband and father.’ She paused.

‘But?’ Frank smiled sadly.

Melanie continued: ‘But we’re not working and, yes, I know it’s my fault. I take full responsibility, but I can’t dothis any more. It’s not fair to you or to me. I wish I was a better person, a better wife and mother. I’m not proud of the fact that I’m neither. But I am who I am, Frank, and I’m not making you happy. I want you to be free to meet someone who will appreciate all of you and be a partner for you. The only thing I’ve ever been really good at is my job. I was never sporty or creative or science-y, I just loved books and I found my dream job. I love it, it fulfils me. I know I’m a workaholic and I know that impacts you and the kids. I’m sorry, I really am, but there’s nowhere else I want to be. I never wanted kids because I knew I’d resent having to give up time at work to raise them. I think that’s why I fell apart when they were born. One child was going to be hard enough, but two …’ she sniffed ‘… too much.’

Frank bit his lower lip. ‘I knew this was coming, but it still feels a bit like being shot.’

Tears were welling behind Melanie’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay, you’re being honest and you’re right, we have grown apart. I believed … well, I’d hoped we could find our way back to each other, but I accept, with a heavy heart, that we can’t. I persuaded you to have children, even though you were resistant, I know that, and they are the loves of my life.’ His face lit up just thinking about the twins. ‘Thank you for giving them to me. I know it wasn’t easy for you, especially when we had twins.’

Melanie chuckled. ‘Will you ever forget that scan?’

Frank laughed. ‘No, the sonographer was startled by your scream.’

‘You’re such a good man, Frank. Thanks for putting up with me and for doing the heavy lifting with the girls.’ Melanie did love him as a person and wished it was enough, but it wasn’t.

‘Hey, now, you’ve done the heavy lifting in work, and Iknow you love it, but the onus has been on you to pay the big bills. I’m sorry for not being a better provider. While work is your great joy, being a dad is mine.’

Melanie was glad he had thanked her for providing the main finances. It had been a weight to carry, which had pushed her to be better and work even harder. She had always known that their mortgage and the girls’ school fees mainly depended on her.

‘God, this is all so civilized.’ Melanie felt tears on her cheeks.

Frank came over to her and hugged her. She leant into him. ‘Can we tell the girls tonight, together?’

‘Sure. Just let me do some research first about how best to break news like this to teens.’

Just tell them, Melanie thought.Be honest. They are lucky this is not a contentious break-up.‘Okay, let me know when you’re ready.’ She pulled out of his hug. ‘We need to talk about the agency, too. I can’t stay there.’

Frank frowned. ‘Why not?’

‘Because your mother owns it and you and your brothers work there. I’m not family, I’m an in-law, and now I’m going to be an ex-in-law, which is an even more dubious position.’

Frank shook his head. ‘But you’re the key person. Mum respects you so highly. You’re the reason authors are flocking to be signed.’

Melanie put her hands up. ‘Frank, I can’t work in your family agency if we’re divorced. It would be weird and awkward.’

‘But why? We’re going to be friends, aren’t we? There’s no trouble between us.’

‘I know, but it would be weird to see each other every day – and, besides, Ross wants me out. He’ll keep chippingaway at me, and I’d like to be my own boss. I have enough good authors who I know will come with me, and with the interest I’m getting from publishers about Xina, she alone will pay my office rent for a few years.’

‘Mum will be upset. She won’t like you leaving. Nor will Jamie.’

‘Nancy will only miss the revenue I generate, but I think our break-up is the right moment to make the leap.’

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