Page 20 of The In-Laws

‘A manuscript you justhaveto finish?’

‘A Zoom call you areneededon?’

‘An editor youmustpersuade to sign your brilliant author?’

‘While we, your kids, starve?’

All of the above, Melanie wanted to shout. Everything you have just listedison my to-do list.

‘So where is Dad?’ Joni asked.

‘He’s gone to see some new musician play.’

‘Oh, yeah, he’s gone to see Isla Overtone with Katie,’ Janis said. ‘She’s so cool.’

‘Isla or Katie?’ Joni asked.

‘Both of them,’ Janis said.

‘Totally,’ Joni agreed.

‘No, the gig with Katie is next week, this is some other musician playing tonight that your father thinks has potential.’ Melanie tried not to roll her eyes.

‘So what are you doing about our dinner?’ Joni asked her mother.

‘Do you want to order food?’ Melanie asked. ‘You can order from Rocket’s. That’s healthy.’

‘No take-out or ready-made meals are actually healthy because they’re all made in unhygienic industrial kitchens by underpaid, badly treated immigrants,’ Joni announced.

‘What?’

‘I saw a documentary on it.’

Bloody documentaries. There was a documentary on everything, these days. Could they not just stick to wildlife and nature, and leave take-out and ready-made meals alone? Busy parents needed the option of pre-made food.

‘Just choose something,’ she pleaded.

Fifty euros later, the food had been ordered.

While they waited for it to arrive, Melanie left the room to call Peter, who had now sent ten WhatsApp messages about the changes. If she didn’t talk him down, he’d text all night. He answered on the first ring.

‘Hi, Peter.’

‘Oh, my God, I’m losing my mind!’ he exclaimed.

‘Okay, calm down, it’s all going to be fine.’ Melanie adapted her cool, confident agent voice. She was a pro at calming and reassuring authors. If only she could do the same with the twins.

‘Fine? Have you seen the changes Larissa wants me to make? Like, is she crazy? The whole heart of the book is being destroyed. She wants me to take Lucian out. I can’t even … I mean … Lucian is one of the main characters! He is key to the whole plot! If you take him out, there is no book!’ Peter’s voice was now at a hysterical pitch.

‘Take a breath. I don’t think you need to take Lucian out, but maybe pare him back a little. I think she’s right about fleshing out Diana and Frankie’s relationship. I agree that Diana’s character needs more backstory.’

‘Backstory? What do you mean? She’s supposed to be bloody mysterious. If we know her whole life story, how canshe be enigmatic? Will I just write her CV at the beginning of the book and be done with it? Will that make you all happy?’

Melanie closed her eyes. She was beginning to regret having signed Peter. He had a lot of talent and potential, but she hadn’t realized how precious and, frankly, pretentious he was. He truly believed that he was the next Kazuo Ishiguro. However, she also knew from years of being an agent that often panic and hysteria were actually insecurity. Occasionally itwasjust pure ego, and those authors were the hardest to deal with, but they rarely lasted long. Their ego got in the way and they were usually dropped by their publishers for failing to deliver what they had promised. Peter, she felt, was mainly insecure, with a dollop of ego thrown in.

‘Peter, you know how talented I think you are. You know how much Larissa and I value your writing, but every author needs to be edited. Even Booker Prize winners. You know that a good edit raises a book to a new level. Of course you don’t have to agree with all of Larissa’s suggestions, but I think you should consider taking some of them on board. Look, why don’t you put the notes away, have a glass of wine and watch some TV? Get a good night’s sleep and look at the suggestions with fresh eyes tomorrow. I’ll have a thorough read-through tonight and send you my thoughts first thing tomorrow. We can talk it over then. Okay?’

‘I don’t drink any more. I told you that.’

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