Page 29 of The In-Laws

‘Here we go,’ Joni muttered.

Melanie summed up the conversation. The twins sniggered when she repeated their sassy answers. Frank joined in, like he was their pal, not their father.

Melanie tried not to let her irritation show. ‘I’m taking your phones for one week.’

The twins gasped. ‘What?’

She had their attention now.

‘Daaaaaaad?’

Don’t contradict me, please, Frank. For once in your goddamn life do not contradict me.

‘Ah, now, Melanie. Their phones are how they communicate with their friends. We can’t take that away for a whole week.’

‘Frank.’ Melanie glared at him.

Frank raised his hands. ‘Look, girls, I love that you have strong spirits and minds, but the religion teacher is only doing his best and it would be nice if you’d support him and show him some consideration. Try to give him answers that are more suitable for the curriculum. Maybe you could save the funny stuff for your friends.’

‘Is that it?’ Melanie was furious. ‘Is that the extent of your response to us being called up to the school and told our daughters are misbehaving and disrespectful?’

Joni snuggled into her father’s shoulder. ‘Dad understands us, Mum. He knows how to talk to us. You just shout and go back to work. Taking our phones isn’t going to change anything. It’ll just make us really angry and we’ll act out more. Dad gets it.’

‘How would you feel if we took your phone?’ Janis said. ‘Therealphone addict in this house is you.’

‘That’s true.’ Frank nodded in agreement.

‘One hundred per cent, you are always on your phone,’ Joni added.

Melanie’s blood pressure boiled over. She’d had it with all of them. ‘I use my phone for work, so I can pay all the bills and your school fees, not to arse around on TikTok and Snapchat following vacuous “influencers” and taking stupid selfies,’ she roared.

‘Oooh, I think we hit a nerve.’ Joni smirked.

‘Bit defensive there, Mum.’ Janis chuckled.

Melanie wondered if other mothers had the urge to slap their teenagers as often as she did.

‘Ah, now, your mum has a point. She only uses her phone for work. I do wish you’d take more breaks from it, though, Melanie,’ Frank said.

‘You should chill out more and be fun, like Auntie Katie,’ Joni said.

‘She certainly knows how to party.’ Frank laughed. ‘She’s a great person to go to a gig with.’

Good old Katie, fun, fun, fun. She didn’t have the pressure Melanie had. Jamie was reliable and brought home a good salary. Yes, Katie worked, but only three days a week. Melanie had a full-time, full-on job – and she was the breadwinner here. How dare they compare her negatively to Katie?

‘Well, maybe you should all move in with fun Auntie Katie, then!’ Melanie stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

She knew she was being childish, and a bad role model, but it stung. It stung that no one ever said, ‘Thanks for working so hard. Thanks for earning good money so we don’t have to worry and can go to the best school. Thanks for working ten times harder than Dad so he can faff about with his music friends while you actually sign and nurture successful authors. Thanks for putting up with a domineering mother-in-law so things run smoothly in the family business.’ One bloody thank-you in a decade would be great.

10. Amanda

Amanda was scrolling through Instagram, looking enviously at the lives of her former friends. Were they friends, though? Didn’t friends keep in touch? Didn’t friends reach out and ask how you were doing? Wonder why you’d left so suddenly and if you were okay?

All Amanda had received was silence. Tumbleweed.

Since she’d moved back to Dublin, she’d had three texts: one from a mum in Theo’s school saying she’d heard about the ‘incident’ and could Amanda ask Theo if her son had ever taken cocaine.

One from her neighbour, asking if she could take their flower-boxes as they were no longer using them.

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