Page 49 of The In-Laws

Amanda’s face flushed. ‘Oh, my goodness, Toby, we left your gift at home, I’m so sorry.’

‘You could go and get it,’ Toby suggested hopefully.

‘Well … uhm … it would be rude to leave. Here.’ She rummaged in her handbag and handed her nephew a twenty-euro note. ‘I’ll drop the gift around tomorrow, or maybe the next day.’

Toby’s eyes shone. ‘Wow, thanks.’ Turning to Jamie and Katie, he exclaimed, ‘I’m rich. I can buy zillions of sweets with this.’

Katie was annoyed. Amanda had clearly forgotten to buy Toby a present. How could you forget to buy something for a seven-year-old’s birthday? Amanda didn’t work; she didn’t seem to have any friends; Theo was in school all day. What did Amanda do with her time?

Still, her son was delighted with the thoughtless gift of cash, so what the hell?

Katie offered everyone a drink. Nancy said it was tooearly; Ross said he was driving; Frank said he was doing a detox and Amanda said she was happy with water.

‘Right, just you and me, then, Jamie.’ Katie poured them each a generous glass of wine.

‘I’ll have one.’ Melanie came through the kitchen door and plonked herself on a stool at the counter. ‘I’ve just arranged a meeting with Petrus van der Beek to, potentially, sign with us.’ She beamed.

‘Could you speak English, please?’ Janis asked.

‘Wow!’ Jamie said.

‘That’s amazing, darling.’ Frank put his arm around her.

‘Congratulations, this is a big coup.’ Nancy nodded at her daughter-in-law.

‘If you get him to sign, it would be good news for the agency,’ Ross said.

Katie handed Melanie a drink and said, ‘Right, I’m in the dark here. Who is Petrol van der Plonk?’

The twins giggled.

‘He’s a Booker Prize-winning author, a big deal in the literary world,’ Jamie told his wife.

‘Oooh, go, Melanie!’ Katie clinked glasses with her sister-in-law.

‘I’d like to be an agent when I grow up,’ Lucy announced.

‘It’s a great job,’ Melanie said, smiling at her.

‘You will be, because you’re going to run the Fitzroy Agency one day,’ Nancy told her granddaughter.

‘I think that’s a role you have to earn and prove yourself capable of doing.’ Ross was clearly not happy about Nancy’s little announcement.

‘If you do become an agent, don’t have kids cos you’ll never see them.’ Janis stuck the knife into her mother’s back.

‘I want to be a hairdresser and give people glow-ups,’ Joni said.

‘You can be anything you like,’ Frank said.

‘Well, not anything,’ Melanie said, frowning.

‘There are so many opportunities out there. Take your time deciding what you want to do with your life,’ Frank told the kids.

‘Like you, Frank?’ Ross asked.

The prick.

Ignoring his older brother, Frank said, ‘You need to find something you feel passionate about. Passion is the essence of who we are. You have to find it and unwrap it.’

---