Page 61 of The In-Laws

Jamie’s face darkened. ‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

Ross gave his brother a patronizing smirk. ‘Your wife has the manners of a fishwife. The way she treated our mother was despicable. She needs to lay off the wine and learn to have some class.’

Oh, my God, did he actually just say that? Melanie stared at Ross. He was clearly trying to goad Jamie into doing something reckless in front of Nancy.

‘Hear, hear,’ Nancy said.

Sheisa bitch, Melanie thought. How could she be so two-faced about Katie – happy to get free haircuts from her, then saying stuff like this behind her back?

Jamie jumped up and stood face to face with Ross. ‘I thought I’d made it clear that you are not to speak about my wife like that ever again, or –’

‘Jamie!’ Frank was standing at the door. In all the drama, Melanie hadn’t noticed her husband arriving. ‘Come on, guys, I understand that tensions are high from yesterday but arguing and insulting people isn’t going to help. We’re a family and we need to remember that. This needs to end now.’

‘Go to hell, Frank,’ Ross growled. ‘Seriously, either write a best-selling book about your hippie-dippy shit or shut the hell up. You’re just a leech on Mum and this agency.’

Melanie stood up, ready to tell Ross where to stick his insults, but before she could get a word out Jamie was shouting at him.

‘Who the hell do you think you are, coming in here lording it over all of us? We’ve spent years with Mum, working our arses off to grow the agency and make it successful.’

Ross gave another of his maddening patronizing smirks. Melanie had never wanted to slap someone’s face so badly in her life.

‘I hardly think Frank has been driving the agency forward.’ Ross doubled down.

Frank placed a hand on Jamie’s shoulder. ‘Don’t rise to it, Jamie. Ross is trying to fit in and figure things out, and in his typical Ross way he’s stamping on a few feet while he does it. It comes from him always having had to fend for himself from when he was sent away as a kid. He doesn’t understand the value of subtlety. I imagine it was dog-eat-dog in a big, all-male boarding school.’

Melanie coughed to disguise the laugh that had bubbled up inside her. Frank had just summed up Ross in the politest way, while subtly getting in a few digs.

‘Oh, for Christ’s sake,’ Ross muttered.

Nancy slammed her hand on the edge of Melanie’s desk. Her coffee swayed but thankfully didn’t spill. Melanie had spent a lot of money on the beautiful antique desk that had once been used by Samuel Beckett.

‘Enough squabbling. This behaviour is completely unacceptable in the workplace. We need to work together. I don’t want Katie’s name mentioned in this office again. Melanie and Jamie are doing Trojan work. Ross and Frank, you both need to step up.’

Nancy pushed herself upright. ‘What time have you booked lunch with Petrus?’ she asked Melanie.

Melanie decided to try being subtle but firm. ‘Actually, Nancy, if you don’t mind, I’d rather meet Petrus on my own. It’s our first meeting and I’d like to feel him out first, see if he’s courting any other agents and what his plans are for a new book. Once I feel he’s definitely keen to sign with us, I’ll organize a meeting with you. How does that sound?’

‘Sounds rude,’ Ross said.

Melanie shot him a withering look.

Nancy shrugged. ‘It sounds fine, probably wise. I don’t have time to waste if he’s just courting us. Make sure you sound him out fully and don’t let him order the wine. I’ve heard he likes to order very expensive bottles when he’s not paying.’

Melanie nodded. ‘Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes.’

Ross and Nancy left the room. Jamie looked at Frank. ‘Mate, thank God you came in. I swear this time I would have punched Ross in his arrogant face.’

Frank patted his younger brother on the back. ‘I sensed that. I was actually worried for Ross.’ He laughed.

Jamie shook his head. ‘He just knows how to wind me up.’

‘To be fair, he insulted Katie, which was completely out of order,’ Frank said.

Melanie remembered an older man being really rude to her at a book fair years ago when she was a young agent. She’d wanted Frank to pin him up against a wall and punch him, but her husband had just said, ‘People like that want a reaction. They feed off it. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them so they feel disregarded.’

Melanie still would have preferred it if Frank had knocked the man down with a left hook. But she had married a pacifist and an appeaser, more likely to hug than punch.

‘How am I going to work with him, seriously? I know he’s our brother, but he’s an arsehole.’

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