Page 63 of The In-Laws

You and Lucy are peas in a pod,

It’s a precious thing and I thank God.

So let’s forget that ugly spat,

I’m sorry, Nancy, I take it back,

I will eat the humble pie,

Let’s move on, can you please try?

Thank you for listening to Katie’s APOLOGYYYYYY.’

The four men howled out the last note.

Melanie covered her mouth to stop the cascade of giggles popping out. Frank clapped and whooped. Jamie whispered, ‘Katie, you absolute nutter.’ Ross and Nancy were open-mouthed with shock.

‘Well, that’s the best apology I’ve ever seen – or heard.’ Frank waved to the barbershop quartet as they left hurriedly, sensing the tension in the air. ‘Well done, Katie.’

‘Christ, has she lost her mind?’ Ross spluttered. ‘So crass, has she not heard of a bouquet of flowers?’

‘She obviously wanted to make a big gesture to show how sorry she is,’ Jamie defended her.

‘A lot of thought went into that song and set-up,’ Melanie added. She wished Katie had called her first. She could have told her that Nancy would not appreciate being sung at.

Nancy finally spoke. ‘That was tone-deaf – both the song and the gesture.’

The reception door opened and a figure came in, half hidden by an enormous hamper filled with food.

Katie placed the hamper at Nancy’s feet. ‘Well, did you like it? Am I forgiven? Amanda helped me write the song, I’m rubbish with words – as you know. In case the song didn’t totally work I baked and brought you all your favourite things. Ta-dah!’ Katie was trying to smile brightly in the face of Nancy’s very obvious disdain.

‘How thoughtful,’ Frank said.

‘She was up all night baking,’ Jamie added.

‘I can’t believe you organized all of this in less than twenty-four hours. Wow,’ Melanie said.

‘Amanda helped you with this clown show?’ Ross did not look one bit happy about his wife being part of it.

Nancy stood silent and stony-faced.

Katie sighed. ‘Look, I messed up and I’m sorry. I don’t really care if you hate me, but I do care about Jamie and Lucy. I never want to do anything to hurt them or cause problems for them. So, ignore me, insult me, do whatever you want, but please don’t let my stupid mouth affect how you feel about Jamie and Lucy, Toby too.’

Nancy pursed her lips. ‘Nothing you can do will ever change how I feel about my son or my granddaughter. The only person you are damaging by your alley-cat behaviour is yourself. Can you please leave now? You have caused enough drama and chaos. We are trying to run a professional agency. Thank God none of our clients was here to witness this. Do not ever darken my door again.’ Nancy turned on her heels – one heel and a boot – went back into her office and firmly closed the door.

Ross rushed in after his mother. Katie shrugged, but Melanie could see she was fighting back tears.

‘Oh, well, you can’t say I didn’t try.’

‘It was incredible.’ Frank hugged her.

‘The song was brilliant.’ Melanie squeezed her hand.

Katie looked to her husband, who remained silent. Shoulders sagging, she turned to leave.

Jamie called, ‘Katie.’

She turned. Jamie went over and threw his arms around her. Kissing her, he said, ‘You are a total nutter and you have caused mayhem, but you’re my nutter.’

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