Page 64 of The In-Laws

‘I love you, babe, and I’m so sorry.’ Katie cried into his shoulder as they held each other tight.

Melanie felt a wave of emotion watching her in-laws. They were mad about each other. As much in love now as they’d been when they’d first met. She glanced at Frank. They were so far from this – they’d lost each other. She wondered if they’d ever find each other again.

22. Amanda

Amanda stared at her husband’s back. It amazed her how easily he slept. Once his head hit the pillow he was out like a light. Clearly guilt didn’t faze him one bit. While he slept, she lay awake, panicking about the future, Theo, their life, her marriage, living in Dublin, going backwards … everything.

They still hadn’t had sex. She just could not do it. She had so much rage inside her that she wanted to strangle him, not straddle him. She tried to remember back to when they were happy, but the affair had made her doubt her whole marriage. Had Ross always had a wandering eye? Was this, as he swore to her, his first affair? Was she delusional? No, they had been in love. She had loved him and she knew he had loved her. They’d had a good partnership: she ran the home and looked after Theo, and Ross earned the money. Yes, she knew it was very traditional, but she had been happy with it. She didn’t want to work, she loved her life. Her fabulous London life. But now she hated Ross. She didn’t know where to put the anger. It was like a hard knot inside her chest. She probably needed to see a therapist, but she couldn’t face talking about it because she was scared. She was frightened that if she let out her anger, sorrow and grief, if she relaxed her grip on it for even a second, she’d fall apart completely. She had to keep it together for Theo. She also had to remain strong in front of Nancy so she would believe that Ross had a solid family life and therefore could concentrate fully onrunning the agency. It was exhausting: the lack of sleep and constant anxiety mixed with rage were draining.

She glanced at the clock. It was only five, but she knew sleep would not come. She tiptoed out of bed and dressed in warm clothes. She put her swimming togs and a towel in a bag, just for show, and went down to make a flask of strong coffee and fresh scones. As the sister-in-law who didn’t work, she felt she needed to bring the food.

Katie’s text had come out of the blue:Gonna do a sunrise sea swim for my sins 2 c if it washes away my filty mouth. U 2 had my back with Nancy, will u come with me? Come on it be fun!

A sea swim? Had Katie lost her mind? Amanda had read the text again, but before she could type out a very definiteNo, thank you, her screen had lit up again.

Melanie:Are u drunk?

Katie:No! I want to b a bettre person and I used to love swimming. Come on, I’ll bring cofee. COME ON!

What time?

6.30 a.m. U will b home by 7.30 a.m. to get kids sorted and get to work.

Sunrise is actually at 5.40.

OMG, Mel, just come!

OK, what the hell, will wake me up.

When Melanie agreed, Amanda had felt pressured.

Katie:A? You in?

She hadn’t wanted to say no in case they never asked her to do anything again. She also did not want to get into the freezing sea.I’ll come but not sure I’ll swim.

Bring ur togs!

Amanda was sick of hearing women banging on about sea swimming. Since Covid, every second person she knew was swimming – and talking about it. In London it was in lakes and rivers; in Dublin it was the sea. Women who hadpreviously been fun to meet for coffee suddenly became evangelical – and total bores – about sea swimming. They wanted to tell her all about the highs and the endorphins. They talked, at length, about all the equipment needed for the winter months – the neoprene shoes and gloves, the flask of hot coffee or tea, the warm dry-robe, the woolly hat … It was endless and deadly dull.

Amanda rarely got into the sea on foreign holidays when it was a pleasant temperature. She hated getting her hair wet. It ruined her blow-dries. She only ever went into the sea up to her waist to cool down and then she’d retreat to her sunbed. The notion of throwing herself into the freezing sea in the wee hours of the morning was horrifying.

On the other hand, she didn’t want to be left out, and her sisters-in-law were the only people who understood how bloody difficult Nancy was. It had felt like sweet relief to vent after Katie’s disastrous party and she’d had lots of fun helping Katie to write the song for the barbershop-quartet apology.

She’d decided to go to the sea with them, have a coffee, watch them swim, and be home in time to make Nancy her scrambled eggs. Besides, she was sleeping so badly, an early start would be no bother to her. She was waking up at four o’clock most mornings. It would make a nice change from staring at the ceiling, feeling sick with anxiety.

Katie was sitting on the wall, looking out to sea, when Amanda arrived. She had her eyes closed and seemed to be meditating, or possibly nursing a hangover.

‘Morning,’ Amanda said softly, so as not to disturb her. She put down her basket of coffee and food beside the wall.

Katie opened her eyes and turned around. ‘Oh, hi.’

God, she looked even worse than Amanda. Her face was ghostly white and she had purple rings under her eyes.

‘What kind of crazy idea is this?’ Melanie arrived, wearing a hoodie and leggings, and holding her work clothes, which were covered in plastic on a hanger.

Katie smiled. ‘It’s called starting your day on a good note.’

‘Seriously, Katie, who are you right now?’ Melanie said, shaking her head.

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