Page 69 of The In-Laws

Katie patted Frank’s arm. ‘Nice try, Frank, but your mother is a weapon, always was, always will be.’

‘Not true. She is a woman who has had to deal with a huge amount and has had to be strong and, yes, at times hard-hearted to survive and provide for her family.’

‘I know lots of women who’ve had tough times and it makes them more empathetic, not less. Besides, your mum has never had any time for me. I’m the least favourite daughter-in-law. She always felt Jamie married down, and most of the time I let it wash over me, but that day I just cracked. Don’t worry, I won’t do it again. It hurt Lucy and that killed me.’

Katie finished her wine and poured another glass.

‘Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re a great mother.’

‘I’m not sure I am, but I try.’

‘You’re with your kids a lot, and that really counts. I wish so much that Melanie would spend more time with the twins – they’re growing up so fast. She’s a wonderful role model, but I’d like them to know her better.’

‘I guess she parents more by example than by being present.’

Frank sighed. ‘She just works longer and longer hours. She’s hardly ever at home, and when she is, she’s on Zoom calls or reading manuscripts. They get hardly any of her attention.’

Katie saw an opening and decided to jump in. ‘That must be hard on your relationship, too. My weekly date night with Jamie is what saves us. We look forward to it so much. How are things with you and Melanie? Could you do a date night?’

Frank laughed loudly. ‘Katie, I haven’t gone out fordinner with Melanie alone in about five years. If she is, by some miracle, free, she’s exhausted and in bed by nine.’

No sex for more than two years and no date night for five! This was bad.

‘Okay, so date nights might be hard to organize, but what about having one night where you have dinner together? Maybe run her a bubble bath after and you can hop in with her too.’

Frank looked down at his hands. ‘I don’t think Melanie would want me in the bath with her.’

Katie didn’t want to overstep with Frank, but she did want him to shake things up in the bedroom or their marriage would disintegrate. There was precious little joy in the routine of family life so it was awful to miss out on the joy of sex.

‘Maybe Melaniewouldlike a couple bath. Maybe you just need to set the scene and make it romantic and sexy.’

‘She hates sharing baths. Even in our early days when sex was … well … active, Melanie was never a bath-for-two person.’

Katie took a gulp of wine and went for it. ‘What about porn? Sometimes Jamie and I watch porn to get us in the mood.’

Frank clapped as Tiny Poole finished her song. ‘Melanie would never watch porn. It’s just not her. But if I’m being honest, we do need to revitalize things in the bedroom. It’s got a bit …’

‘Stale?’ Katie helped him out.

‘Yep.’

‘Well, you’re into meditation and yoga and all that stuff, so what about Tantric sex? Didn’t it do wonders for Sting and his wife? Could you get a lesson or a private class or something like Sting and Trudie did? Apparently they were riding each other day and night afterwards.’

Frank leant his head to the side. ‘I never thought about that, but it’s not a bad idea. I must look into it.’

Katie knew that if Frank said he’d look into something it could be months or years before he acted on it. His marriage was on life support.

‘Get out your phone and let’s google it. I bet there are private classes you can book.’

She leant over his shoulder as he scrolled through the options. Katie was surprised there were so many. Who knew how popular Tantric sex classes were?

They found one that looked and sounded very professional.

She nudged her brother-in-law playfully, but also to get him moving on it. ‘Email them now, go on, Frank. Do it, and before you know it you and Melanie will be having marathon sex sessions and Jamie and me will be looking for tips.’

Frank shrugged. ‘I suppose I’ve nothing to lose, but I’m pretty sure Melanie will say no.’

‘She may surprise you,’ Katie said, as she tried to figure out how to persuade Melanie to go to the classes. Maybe she could get Amanda to help her. After all, she’d been there when Melanie admitted her sex life was dead, and she was good with words. Thinking of Amanda made her think of Theo. Somehow she had to work out how to talk to Amanda about what was going on with her son. Katie hadn’t the first idea how she’d handle that conversation. Tantric sex seemed like a walk in the park compared to snorting cocaine.

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