Page 26 of Pitch Prince

Well,I thought.This could get awkward.

12

Chapter Twelve - Rhys

I tossed and turned all night, memory of the night before burrowing into the deepest recesses of my mind and guilt flipping my psyche in every direction. Every time I turned in the direction of Callum’s bed, I would catch sight of his head turned away in the bed and want to disappear in shame.

Did I take advantage? We had both been drinking, and Callum had invited me in to the shower. It just felt a little like I’d taken advantage of our closeness, of his body’s natural reaction to the amount of pent-up sexual frustration we had. Not to mention that as far as I was aware, Callum was straight. And what had happened didn’t change that in any way. I’d been with plenty of men who called themselves straight, and were just looking for a hole to fill. And that was fine, if he was. I had provided…a service, at the end of the day.

But my bloody heart wouldn’t listen. Because Callum was my friend. And he was beautiful. And I wanted to be his friend, or I wanted to be more. And I couldn’t just be a one time hookup.

Fuck.I had taken something non-complicated and completely and utterly over-complicated it to a point of stupidity. And when Callum woke in the morning our relationship would have entirely changed for the worse. A straight man, a mentor I looked up to and one of my best friends would forever associate me with getting on my knees for a quick release.

Eventually the sun rose, and I knew there was no way I was getting back to sleep. Callum snored lightly, and had turned toward me in the night. If I wasn’t going to be waking up next to him in the morning then I didn’t want him. I shouldn’t have propositioned him without thinking about what could come next.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table. It was a message from Finn that simply readFuck. My. Life.I text him back asking to meet outside his room in five minutes, and he sent back a thumbs-up emoji.

I got up and got dressed as quietly as possible. Callum slept like the dead but I didn’t want to risk an awkward conversation. Not yet.

Finn was waiting for me outside his bedroom in the corridor, face grey and expression glum.

“Cheer up, it might never happen,” I said to him. After the night I’d had it was fucking wonderful to see someone feeling so much worse.

“Piss off,” he replied.

“Let’s go get you fixed up,” I said. We walked together to the hotel’s cafe in silence, each of us got a coffee to take away and walked out onto the hotel grounds. The hotel was surrounded by lush fields and golf courses so we walked over a little stream, far from the hotel and prying ears before we could start talking.

“So,” I started. Finn cut across before I could say any more.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” Finn said. “I remember getting up on the table, and then there’s…not much. But my clothes are covered and the whole room smelled like puke. I’ve no idea how Alf managed to get in and sleep there because it’s fucking disgusting.”

“Yeah, bud. It wasn’t good.” I explained in detail the events of the night before and Finn seemed to sink lower and lower as I spoke.

“Fucking hell, I really pushed my limits.”

“I think you broke past any limits, if I’m honest. You were a fucking mess.”

“Did I drink all my whisky too? It’s not under my bed any more.”

I considered lying but decided against it. “Nah, I took it as payment for all the sick Callum and I are gonna have to get out of our clothes.”

“Gross. Sorry again.”

“Why, Finn?” I finally asked. We had reached the top of a small hill on the golf course, and I sat down. I patted the ground next to me and Finn sat next to me. He stank of booze. “Why do you have the be the most drunk at every occasion? Be the biggest personality, the centre of attention no matter how bad?”

“I…I dunno,” Finn said. “Would you believe me if I said I’m deeper than I look? Like, I’m not just the big boneheaded alcoholic everyone seems to think I am. I…I have issues.”

“Do you want to talk about them?” I asked.

“I dunno, man. There’s stuff I haven’t told myself yet, let alone said out loud.” Finn stood up, pacing with the coffee cup and blocking out the sun as he passed in front of my face. “How… how did you know you were definitely gay?”

Ah. So we were finally going down that route. “Honestly? Porn,” I said. “When I was like thirteen or fourteen and all my mates were watching lesbian porn, I was…not. And then I grew older and realised it wasn’t a phase. And then the boys that I experimented with grew out of it and I didn’t, and then I knew it wasn’t just a phase.”

“So…say I slept with women, yeah? And it was great. But then a couple of times, after a lot to drink, I slept with some men. And I…kinda liked it, right? What would that make me?”

I chuckled. “God, you’re starting to sound like a Reddit post. But you could be bi, or pan, or anything else. You might just like men in bed, or you might like them emotionally too.”

“And what if I did like a particular guy?” Finn was frantic now, pacing at a speed that would have me hurling if I was as hungover as him.

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