Page 49 of Pitch Prince

“Daddy?” a voice from behind me made me freeze, but Sarah smirked.

“Just like that,” she said.

I turned slowly to face my two kids in the doorway. “You…fancy men,” asked Olivia. “Really?”

I let out a breath. I couldn’t tell what either of them was thinking. They were silhouetted in the light of the hallway and I was scared to take a step toward them. “Yes,” I finally said. “I’m…”

“Gay?” Logan suggested. “Because we learned about all that stuff weeks ago!” He rushed forward and enveloped my stomach in a hug.

Olivia shrugged from the doorway and took the steps needed to join Logan in the hug. I felt tears prick at the back of my eyes. “If you have to be with a man, can you find one who’s good at DIY?” she asked. “Because my bookshelves have been wonky for ages but I knew you couldn’t fix it.”

I choked back a laugh and a sob at the same time. “I love you both, so much.”

“Are you…are you going to start dancing and drama now, Dad? Because that’s what they do on that old show mum was watching on Netflix the other day…” Logan sounded doubtful, and I realised what he was doing. He was worried if I acted like him, then that might make him gay. Like because he fit all the stereotypes then he would be lumped in with me.

I extracted myself from the hug and crouched down to hold one of their hands in each of mine. “I am already afantasticdancer,” I said. Sarah laughed behind me but I ignored her. “But that doesn’t make me gay. Neither of you has to follow the path people have set for you. If either of you wants to be a rugby player, a ballet dancer, a princess. Then follow your dreams and don’t you ever worry that what you do will make people think you have to fancy a certain gender. Be who you want to be, and don’t let anyone else define you.”

“No offence Dad, but that was really cringe,” said Olivia. She was smiling though, and I knew she was OK. I gave them both a watery smile.

“I need to talk to your mum for a minute,” I said. “Want to go and set up Switch Sports and I’ll join you for some bowling in a minute?”

Both kids ran off without another word. “Didn’t you take them bowling this weekend? And the weekend before?”

“I know, very Sunday dad of me but they want to go all the time and I can’t say no.” I hesitated before continuing. “Thank you. For making that easier.”

“You just needed a little push,” she said. “You’re a good man, Cal. You just need to see it. If you want to chase the man of your dreams then I have no objection to that as long as the kids remain your first priority. And with the way you are as a dad, I know they always will be. I don’t care what the papers or gossips say. I want me, you and the kids to live the most authentic lives we can. And I think you were using as a crutch because you’re too afraid of coming out.”

She was right, I knew she was. “So,” I said. “How do I do it?”

“Come out, get the man of your dreams, ride off happily into the sunset?” she asked. “I don’t know. I’ve never come out as gay and I have no plans to any time soon.”

“Lucky Clive,” I said. She leaned over to punch me in the arm.

“Be serious for a sec. What does Rhys want? And what do you want? Because as weird as it is, I’m determined to see you happy with someone.” Sarah pulled out a pen and paper from one of the kitchen drawers.

I tried my best to gather the words. I knew Rhys so well, every part of him and every little flaw. I knew him on the rugby pitch and in the bedroom, and I knew how his face scrunched up with concentration at the morning crossword. But what did he want? he’d told me.

“He wants someone to love him openly, with no holds barred. He’s put so much time into playing rugby, and all that time he’s been open about who he is. He wants…no, he deserves to be with someone who can be open about how much they love him. He deserves everything. I can’t for a second give him everything he deserves, but I’m willing to try.”

“And what do you want?” Sarah rubbed at a tear under her eye before she put the pen back on the paper.

“I want him to love me back. That’s all I need.”

“Then let’s work out how you’re going to get that to happen.”

24

Chapter Twenty-Four - Rhys

I strapped on my boots for our second game of the year against Edinburgh. This time, we were at home, and the atmosphere was in our favour. After our narrow loss and the aftermath last time, this game felt personal to me.

I smiled over at George, who had moved from his squad in England to Cardiff to facilitate better training with Wales in future. He was a cheeky, slightly chubby guy and I sensed flirtatious vibes from him, but it was just nice to have a good friend on the squad again since Finn had left. I checked my phone. Finn had texted to let me know he was sitting down in the stands, ready for the game ahead. I was looking forward to seeing him again after the game.

“Right, we’ve got typical Welsh weather,” said Garrett as he gathered us for a pre-match pep talk. “Which means it’s fucking pouring, boys. If we were playing football we’d be called off. But rugby is a man’s sport!”

I roared along with the rest of the team even as it made me want to roll my eyes. Garrett was an old-fashioned coach considering he was only in his thirties. I was starting as a flanker as usual, and the team were amped up despite the weather. Bernie, our match physio, was fluttering around us to make sure no last-minute injuries were going to crop up.

We stepped from the tunnel as one team, and let the roar of seven thousand fans engulf us and spur us on. It was time to get to work.

---